A Cup of Superhero: Impulse (Bart Allen)

ok. A Cup of Superhero is going to be like a series of filler posts, in which I compare a cup of drink to a superhero. My posts tends to be a bit long and messy, so I decided; one post, one cup, one hero.

Ooooh, sounds so Olympicy!

Hah, lol, k, so…

If superheroes were a drink, what would they be they be~?

Lets set the benchmark; Impulse (Bart) would be a tall glass of good ol’ Chocolate Milkshake!
With whip cream, and of course, a cherry on the top.

You get to your local diner, a very familiar place, and push open the door. You hear everyone greet you as you make your way to your stool. You simply smile and nod. You pull out your stool, and sit on it, not only for your ass to fit perfectly into the ass-groove you’ve made over the years. The waitress was already there to take your order, and you say “Ya know what ah’m gunna sey Jenneh, the usual!”.
She flirt-giggles and replies “Jus makin sho hun! Buhger, frahs and chocolate milkshake cumin’ up!”

See, everyone likes chocolate milkshake! Even Jack, the big truck driver.
Chocolate milkshake will always manage to bring a smile to your face. If it was a person, it would be one of those people who everyone likes hanging out with, because it’s fun! :) And that person would be Bartholomew “Bart” Allen, as Impulse!
But too much of chocolate milkshake can give you a toothache, in Impulse’s case, a headache. You know it’s uber fattening, but you just can’t resist it!

Chocolate is an essential food group in your life, and milkshake… god, it’s mother fucking milkshake! What I’m trying to say is, we need chocolate milkshake! As Young Justice needed Impulse to keep the series fun. <3

ahaha, cute kid.
His cuteness is the cherry on the top.

***

But as we get older, some people tends to prefer a less sugary Chocolate Milkshake, and instead prefers it a bit more creamy and darker. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a bloody good chocolate milkshake!
That’s when we say bye-bye to Impulse, and hellooo Kid Flash!

It’s the same chocolate milkshake. But instead of using chocolate which is 70% sugar and 30% chocolate, we’re now talking about 40% sugar and 60% chocolate.
It’s still sweet; Kid Flash is still full of awesome. But we have a less chance of getting obese and becoming diabetic; Kid Flash is more ‘settled’ (… hah), less impulsive and more knowledgeable compared to Impulse.

Bart manages to become this new and improved milkshake after he reads the whole San Fransisco library in 20 minutes, which felt like 18 months to him.

Shouldn’t the bookshelf get empty as he reads those books? Just felt like pointing out…

***

… This is when your favourite chocolate milkshake gets really bitter and gross, when Bart takes on the mantle of The Flash.

I really like Bart, but he’s just blergh as Flash! He ain’t bitter like the counter-part, but plain boring. Nothing much to say… he lost his charm.

I also think he got a bit dumber.
,,, and excuse me for my less than average scanning skillz.

… I guess the San Fransisco library didn’t have a book on that.

But what I liked about his run as the Flash was the last two issues. Tragic ending, but I really liked it. As much as I didn’t want Bart to die, I didn’t mind Flash dying…

!!! But we all know he’s gonna revive soon! :) *crosses finger*

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3 Responses to “A Cup of Superhero: Impulse (Bart Allen)”

  1. Rofl, I love your take on the truck driver accent xD.

    You’re such a big Flash fan, way to go on using Impulse as your first example of this new feature, me likey =D

  2. I used to love reading Young Justice. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the most adroit storytelling in comic-dom, but it was fun. The dynamic between Robin, Superboy, and Impulse just felt appropriate and enjoyable, like munching on a burger, fries, and a shake. Sure, the meal isn’t all that healthy, but after a lousy day it sure hit the spot.

  3. […] i like writing these shorts. Especially proud of truck driver Jack’s. I might be better off writing fanfics, but I know I’ll get bored and won’t finish […]

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