A Cup of Superhero: Batman

Hah, the first drink that came to my mind was…

Espresso

Or better yet…

Double Espresso

Can it get any manly-er?

Espresso usually comes in shots, or in a smaller cup than your average coffee. This is because it’s REALLY concentrated. People at Starbucks won’t tell you this, but a whole liter of Espresso will probably kill you.
It’ll deprive you of your sleep. And without sleep your body will slowly lose it’s function. THEN YOU’LL DIE! … or it’s gonna clog your artery or something.
Who knows.

Give a cup of Espresso to a zombie. It’ll motherfucking sprint at your ass, and kill you! And being undead, it can run at your ass for the whooole day.

So how is Batman related to a shot of Espresso?
For one, he probably drinks a whole load of it. By day he’s Bruce Wayne, by night he’s Batman. Go figure how he goes on without sleep.
… And you know that evil doesn’t sleep!

You could say cappuccino, macchiato, lattes and other caffeine drinks are bitches of Espressos’… because espresso is the base of those drinks. It’d be pimping! And you know Batman, he’d rather be the leader. If he isn’t the leader, he’ll make himself the leader. If Batman goes to a S&M club, he would probably be a sadist. And when he tells you to shut up, you better shut up. Or else he’s gonna ice you… or papa spank you?

As a female, I think Batman’s hot. Bruce Wayne’s hot too. Fucking hell, I like the mysterious thing going on with him, as well as his masculinity. And you know what people say about espressos… it’s the most manliest thing you can drink… and by “people” I mean me. Some might argue and say beer’s manly. No brotha! That’s where you’re wrong. When I think of beer, I think frat boys. Espresso? Mysterious manly sexiness.

So next time you want to impress a woman, order a double espresso, loud enough for her to hear. Next thing you know, she’ll be saying “Ooooh baby, serve me a smokin’ hot shot of your espresso!”
… I didn’t know you were a barista.

But it would probably help if you look like this

Have a killer bod like this

and have a pimp chair like this

I hope I turned straight men gay.

:)

Oh, and if you’re in a relationship with Batman, you have to be bitch. So when Batty-boy wants a sandwich; “BITCH! Go make me a sandwich”, you go make him a sandwich. :) Or else he’ll denounce you and get his way because he’s “goddamn Batman” (refer to the picture below).

Some of you may sum him up as a spoilt brat who got everything and anything whenever he wanted… But think about it, he didn’t have a mommy or a daddy growing up. He’s still traumatized and felt inferior about the whole tragedy, and I’m well sure he has superior complex. So when he’s being a bossy-boot, think of him as a retarded kid with a tantrum.

That fucking Batman!!! He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum…

Advertisements

One Response to “A Cup of Superhero: Batman”

  1. The big muscle-y batman would be a useless superhero… y’know those bodybuilders can barely move their muscles are so big?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: