Archive for the Batman Category

A Cup of Superhero: Batman

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2008 by Mao

Hah, the first drink that came to my mind was…

Espresso

Or better yet…

Double Espresso

Can it get any manly-er?

Espresso usually comes in shots, or in a smaller cup than your average coffee. This is because it’s REALLY concentrated. People at Starbucks won’t tell you this, but a whole liter of Espresso will probably kill you.
It’ll deprive you of your sleep. And without sleep your body will slowly lose it’s function. THEN YOU’LL DIE! … or it’s gonna clog your artery or something.
Who knows.

Give a cup of Espresso to a zombie. It’ll motherfucking sprint at your ass, and kill you! And being undead, it can run at your ass for the whooole day.

So how is Batman related to a shot of Espresso?
For one, he probably drinks a whole load of it. By day he’s Bruce Wayne, by night he’s Batman. Go figure how he goes on without sleep.
… And you know that evil doesn’t sleep!

You could say cappuccino, macchiato, lattes and other caffeine drinks are bitches of Espressos’… because espresso is the base of those drinks. It’d be pimping! And you know Batman, he’d rather be the leader. If he isn’t the leader, he’ll make himself the leader. If Batman goes to a S&M club, he would probably be a sadist. And when he tells you to shut up, you better shut up. Or else he’s gonna ice you… or papa spank you?

As a female, I think Batman’s hot. Bruce Wayne’s hot too. Fucking hell, I like the mysterious thing going on with him, as well as his masculinity. And you know what people say about espressos… it’s the most manliest thing you can drink… and by “people” I mean me. Some might argue and say beer’s manly. No brotha! That’s where you’re wrong. When I think of beer, I think frat boys. Espresso? Mysterious manly sexiness.

So next time you want to impress a woman, order a double espresso, loud enough for her to hear. Next thing you know, she’ll be saying “Ooooh baby, serve me a smokin’ hot shot of your espresso!”
… I didn’t know you were a barista.

But it would probably help if you look like this

Have a killer bod like this

and have a pimp chair like this

I hope I turned straight men gay.

:)

Oh, and if you’re in a relationship with Batman, you have to be bitch. So when Batty-boy wants a sandwich; “BITCH! Go make me a sandwich”, you go make him a sandwich. :) Or else he’ll denounce you and get his way because he’s “goddamn Batman” (refer to the picture below).

Some of you may sum him up as a spoilt brat who got everything and anything whenever he wanted… But think about it, he didn’t have a mommy or a daddy growing up. He’s still traumatized and felt inferior about the whole tragedy, and I’m well sure he has superior complex. So when he’s being a bossy-boot, think of him as a retarded kid with a tantrum.

That fucking Batman!!! He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum…

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Today was full of DC-awesomeness!

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Cartoon, Comics, DC Comic, Nightwing, The Brave and The Bold with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2008 by Mao

FOUR awesome DC Comics awesomeness happened to me today.
and I didn’t even buy any comics!

Plus, I was indoors for the whole day. Yay! A typhoon was passing by Hong Kong, and it was MADNESS outside.

So how was I granted DC Comics awesomeness even though I was up to my geekerky for the whole day?

1.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold!

I guess it’s aimed at little kids… but dude, it’s awesome. Just watch the trailer all right?!
Was it awesome, or was it AWESOME?!
Basically, Batman teams up with other superheroes every episode. Not just Blue Beetle, Ollie without his beard and Elastic Man. But also with Jonah Hex (wtf, didn’t see the coming), Green lantern Corp, Flash etc. (crossing finger for Nightwing!)

and dontcha just love the music? It’s like those 70s/80s lounge songs. And strangely, the first thing that came in mind was Cowboy Bebop and Lupin the 3rd.

So uh… the first DC awesome thing that happened to me today was finding, watching and enjoying the trailer of Batman: The Brave and The Bold.

2. and 3.


and

I ordered DC shirts from Animation Shops!
… well I technically didn’t, because they don’t ship to Hong Kong *shakes fist*. So I pretty pleased my brother (with a cherry on the top of course) who lives in Japan, to buy it for me! And guess what, IT WORKED!

I’m OVER THE MOON!

I wanted The Flash shirt for SO long, but the other site I was planning on purchasing it from only had XL. I was mega bummed. But then I came across Animation Shop. So yay for me!

But my brother tends to take his time to send parcels… so I won’t be expecting it anytime soon.

I’m still happy tho :D
*does the happy dance*

4.

I finally convinced my mom to buy me Batman: Gotham Knight on Amazon (Japan)! … and it’s the Japanese DVD version, so I guess the menu’s in Jap but everything else is the same as the English version?

I hope so.

I would’ve bought it at HMV/CD shop, but I couldn’t effing find it! I went around most DVD shops I know the day it was released, but they didn’t have it. I went again next week to check, they didn’t have it. The week after that, nada. I must’ve appeared severely lame.
Yeah, I was annoyed. They had the new Birds of Prey DVD, but not Gotham Knight.

Ok, in a nutshell; it’s six Batman adventure in six different art style. Imagine Animatrix, then throw Batman into the picture,… and take away the whole Matrix story.

Tell me that doesn’t look hardcore!

I’m hoping that it would be great! It looks awesome, so I’m like 80% sure it’s gonna be brill!

And guess what I’m looking forward to tomorrow!

I’m going to my weekly visit to the comic book shop! *does happy dance again!* :D Hopefully the TPB I ordered is there, and along the way I’ll pick up Nightwing #147.
Hey, I thought it would be an awesome timing to jump into Nightwing monthlies. It’s a 4 issue Batman R.I.P. tie-in, and Two-Face probably plays a big role by the look of the cover!

and in #149, he fights against all of Batman’s rogues! It’s gonna be insane! and awesome!

I’ll also pick up Final Crisis: Rogue’s Revenge #1 for the sake of Flash. Hopefully the comic book store still has some left! :x

Awesome count: 9
I shall refrain from using that word in my next post.

Death, Resurrection and Roll-ups

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic, The Flash with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 1, 2008 by Mao

Batman fans will know that there’s a ‘Batman RIP‘ thing going on.

and it’s jingle goes something like…

Are you ready for “Batman R.I.P.”?

Who will live? Who will die? Who will be Batman?
The answers are sure to shock you in “Batman R.I.P.,”

*bites nails*
Shit son, I’m not ready!
As stupid as this may sound, I don’t want to find out what happens! I don’t want anyone to die, especially none of the Bat-family. And there’s been an on-going debate on who makes a better Batman; Nightwing or Robin. Sorry Damian, you’re out of the picture!

… and just to make it clear, Damian is Batman’s genetic son. Oh the family drama!

I just think Nightwing should stay as Nightwing. Robin (Tim) should stay as a sidekick/partner. Damian’s too ninja-like,… and isn’t he younger than Tim? Jason Todd (Red Robin), I don’t really like him, and I think he still has cooties/the evils.

Unless the next Batman’s gonna be female!
Barabara, original Batgirl, crippled, out of the picture. Current Batgirl, Cassandra, her being Batman’s a little too awkward. … Huntress? HUNTRESS, SMASH!!!!! nahhh….
Or maybe Batwoman? I never read any of her runs, so I have no idea what she’s like. And I don’t like the name Batwoman, it’s three syllables, a bit hard to cry for help yanno? “BAT-MAN!!!” “BAT-GIRL!!!” “BAT-wo-MAN!!!“.
In Final Crisis: Revelations (#1 out in Aug 13th), she’s returning from wherever she was, and she looks damn fine!

What I’m trying to say is,
I prefer Bruce Wayne as Batman. He’s the perfect creep to fill-up the suit.
I don’t follow the Bat-series, and I’m not intending too. I’ll just read the final spoiler (“Who will be Batman”), or get someone to spoil it for me.

If you’re interested, here’s the pull-list for Batman R.I.P.

Checkout Nightwing #149 , he goes against Batman’s rogue gallery… like all of them at once! I think it’s gonna be SHWEEEEET, must buy!

***

Lets make this clear.
I’m not hating on Barry.
Most people seems to like the Silverage Barry.
But DUDE! It’s time to MOVE ON!

Maybe he’s going to be used as a plot device instead of taking Wally’s mantle as The Flash. Well, I’m cool with that. Or maybe his return is temporary, and he goes back to where ever La-La Land his residence’s at. I’m also cool with that.

But I will not be cool if Barry brings his old ass back into the picture, and decides to steal Wally’s costume!!!

Fuck! I’ll be so pissed.
I’ll be SO pissed that I will run downstairs, dig-up all of the nicely planted flowers, grab the closest tree and swing it into civilians, drink up all the swimming pool water so no one can swim for the rest of the Summer, kick down all the apartment-buildings and cause a domino effect, do the Canary-Cry and blowup the closest airplane flying, and HULK OUT and go on a murderous RAMPAGE!
… or maybe I’ll just rant on my blog.

I would be equally as pissed if Wally has to become ‘Kid Flash‘ again.

… we’ll see how it goes *gives off the evils*

I’m like totally sway with Jay being The Flash, because he has a different costume. And he also has a different set of friends (JSA). Plus he’s old. I like old people.

But other then that, I’m glad that ol’ speedster’s alive. :) I wonder what major Flash plot-line he’s gonna bring along.

AHA!
New Promo image for The Flash: Rebirth!

Click for bigger image and Click for article.

***

Mmmm~… effective marketing~…

Superhero Comics are for EVERYONE!

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic, Favourites, Marvel, Movies, Nightwing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 29, 2008 by Mao

I personally believe that anyone can like Superhero comics, and it’s not just limited to certain social-groups, age, gender and whatever.

In the past decade there’s been lots of release of Superhero-genre movies, in order to boost their comic book sales. It’s working alright! But I don’t think some people are still convinced/motivated enough to buy them. It’s probably because of the fact that the movies are directed and produced to create what the main-streamers want…

Hero strikes, Hero kicks ass of main villain, Hero gets in trouble (usually caused by the main villain), Hero resolves problem by kicking evil ass(es), Hero gets the girl/prize/serves good ol’ justice!

… and can’t risk to create something the audience might want to see. Basically because they want to make a hit film. And they also have limited time frame to work with as well as budget.

Movies have to end because it’s a story, but Comics are like soap-operas.

But comics, man!, they have all the time they want! Story-arcs can go on as long or as short as they want, and even have cross-overs, therefore having two superheroes working together. Characters can be developed continuously, giving them in-depth history to make ‘connections’ with the readers, as well as sudden revelations to make the readers go “WTFOMGBBQ! I didn’t see that coming!”. Relationships between characters will grow as years of publishing goes by, let it be friendships or romantic. Then there’s death, which will show mourning of close friends and family, and the readers will also be affected by this, because over the years of reading/character development there is bound to be attachments.

Death scenes in movies can be emotional, but it will not be anything remotely as close to Comics.

omg I must sound like a geek who wussy cries whenever fictional characters dies… I don’t! OKAY?

What I’m trying to say is, any thing’s possible in Comics!
But what most people with misconception of comics will say is… “Superhero comics are for children”
If someone says that, bitch-slap them. Were they living under a stone boulder for the past decade or two?
Yes, some comics are for children… like… the… uhh… Mickey Mouse? But comics like Pooche Cafe and Calvin and Hobbs are for both grown-ups, teens and kiddies. Superhero comics can too, be for those demographics, unless you want your 8 year old daughter reading out loud a bedroom scene or a scene of some guy getting mutilated by another… because that will be so wrong!

Your 8 year old daughter: “ohoh, ohhhhhh *sharp in-take of breath* ah! Don’t stop!!! ah, ah, ah! You’re so good, ooooooh~ oh my god!”

So if you think Superhero comics are for kids, you’re wrong, and you’re still under the impression of Golden age comics… That’s when Robin was swooping along Batman saying “Golly gee Batman!” or “Jumpin’ jiminy Batman! Look out of those ducklings!”

Aaand, when Batman fought and killed a cougar with his bare mits…

Now, that’s hardcore. Why doesn’t he do that anymore?

Moving on,…
I being a female comic reader, wants more girlies to read them!
Why?
So we can have girl talks about Super-males!

But what women or feminists will say, other than it’s boring because it’s mindless action, is “Super-females are depicted as skanks”. First they complain that there aren’t enough Super-female characters, and now this.
I actually do agree this statement to a certain extent. Take example of Starfire…

She might as well just wear stripper boots and a leaf on her vajayjay and each nipples.

This might be me just hating on her. *waves Nightwing flag*
But if I do think about this rationally, I think her costume is suitable. Why? Because the Superhero genre is targeted in men! Duh! Yes, that statement’s contradicting to my blog title.
But this doesn’t mean the women can’t enjoy reading comic books.

Lemme tell you why,
Apart from the fact that super-female costumes makes them look like space prostitutes (except for Batgirl who’s wearing Batbondage from the S&M club), most female of species are known to be insecure about their body image. But guess what, super-females have great physique! And in reality, like 5% of the whole female population will look as great as them.
We are just self-conscious.
Men on the other hand, are less self conscious. Of course some are, but there’s less of them compared to women. And they know that the super-lad’s physique are fictional and near impossible to obtain.

This is the part where I’ll tell you why women can enjoy Superhero comics…
Fucking hell are you ladies blind?! There are motherfucking hotties with great bodies running around only wearing spandex!

Men enjoys Super-females practically wearing nothing.
Women enjoys Super-hunks practically wearing nothing.

Do you think we (females) would enjoy reading comics with fat hairy men, only wearing briefs, round-house kicking bad guys? No, we wouldn’t… i know some of you would, but the majority wouldn’t.
Do you think men would enjoy reading comics about an obese florist kicking ass only wearing lingerie? No they wouldn’t.

So jesus christ women! Give the super-female hotties a break! Give some men something to imagine about. And get yourself a copy of whatever super-hunk caught your eyes, because you’re bound to enjoy it!

Don’t think fictional characters can be hot?

Maybe a playboy? … always one step ahead of ya

Fastest Man Alive? *wink wink*

Someone so mysterious that he won’t even tell you how he’s doing?

A cup of hot Cajun anyone?

Honey, the list can go on.

Are you a pedophile?
Lets check what Superhero comics have install for you!

Behind door number one if Billy Batson! He’s what? Still 12? Gifted with the power of Shazam, he can grow!
Bigger alright!, and also stronger.
Into the one, the only, Captain Marvel!

Behind door number two is boy wonder, Dick Grayson. But I think you’ll prefer him as the Golden age Robin.
He’s flexible… VERY flexible… because he’s an acrobat, duh!
And checkout those legs!

Last but not least, you think gay Superheroes don’t exist?
You’re wrong.

Take Midnighter and Apollo, they are both regulation super-hotties. Sadly, they’re gay. Matter of fact, they’re happily married.

… and they both kick ass.

And there’s also the lesbian hard-ass cop, Renee Montoya!

*ahem*
So in conclusion, wow this scarily sounds like my school report, Comics should appeal to everyone because it’s content is so broad that it touches everything. It basically also covers most “taboo” subjects that movie producers will be wavery about.
At this point, I can’t be bothered to type anymore. So I’ll make it brief… If you haven’t recently picked up any superhero comics, go out and buy one. It’s not all Batman and Superman. There’s something for everyone.

:)

((I just realized I need a Part 2. So uh… coming soon?))

Ledger’s Joker vs. The Joker

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic, Joker, Movies with tags , , , , , , , on July 28, 2008 by Mao

I REALLY wonder how many Dark Knight reviews are out there by now. They’re all like a broken record, repeating the same thing over and OVER again (with exceptions of few critical reviews)… and my eyebrow twitches every time I see a new one.

*twitch twitch*

But what’s most common about all reviews are the standing ovations to Heath Ledger’s great performance as The Joker.

What I’ve seen and read about Ledger’s Joker is that he is “dark”, constanly blowing cars up and lacks telling jokes.

Doesn’t look too happy either.

In contrary, …
What I know of The Joker (the comic Joker), he’s supposed to be more ‘happier’ to a point it’s insane!, yet with grim and dark schemes. He’s supposed to give off an eerie vibe of madness!
He laughs and cracks jokes as he fucks people’s lives up! He smiles as he bashes Robin (Jason) to death with a crowbar. He laughs as he shoots and paralyzes Batgirl. He starts laughing hysterically even if he’s in a boo-boo.
And that’s a bloody hard thing to do!

But where’s the insanity Heath?

Maybe I’m being over critical.
You gotta know that Joker is the sole villain who can question the audience, of Batman’s sanity. After all, both of their lives got pretty screwed up. One was a failing comedian whose pregnant wife died, and the other’s parents got shot and killed right in front of his eyes. The only difference is that Batman manifests his insanity in a different way: by dressing-up as a Bat and fighting crime! There’s only a thin line between Batman and Joker
… one can crack a joke, and the other can’t.

All I’m saying. Ledger’s Joker could have loosenedup a little more. Get clownin’ around!

,,,

So the lesson of the day kids, smile at everything and anyone!

Rate ’em Batmans!

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic, Movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2008 by Mao

Seven live-action Batman movies has been made, counting from 1966!

Batman? Batman, seven live-action movies for you! You go Batman!

That’s not including the animated movies! Impresiiive~ And I believe that he’s the only character who has the most movies based on him. Beating out Star Wars, Indiana Jones and the Man of Steel himself. *rubs nails against chest*

In a nutshell, Bats owns you (you, you, you and yes, you too Spidey!)! You will never get seven movies based on your life, even by the time you’re 69 years old! Why you ask? Because your life ain’t anywhere as exciting as his.

Want more than seven movies based on your life?
Well I suggest you find yourself a secret base, dress up as your favourite animal, name everything after your favourite animal, get a pre-pubescent kid to be your sidekick and start kicking some ASS! Don’t forget to have extreme split personalities (you’re one step closer if you have bipolar), and have different voices for both of them. :]

What I’m getting at is that Batman’s Batcostume changes throughout each movie. From wearing tights (for real), to having rubber nipples. As well as the men under the masks, and each Batmans have certain degree of Awesomeness!

The Batmans I will be reviewing are…

– Batman (1966), Adam West

– Batman Returns (1992), Michael Keaton

– Batman Forever (1995), Val Kilmer

– Batman & Robin (1997), George Clooney

– The Dark Knight (2008), the guy who assulted his mom and sister Christian Bale

I left out Batman (1989) and Batman Begins (2005), because of repeat actors.

***

Lets start with the ideal Batman, the template of all Batmans, the man himself… Bruce Wayne! I’ll be using New Earth’s Batman, since he’s so perfect and dreamy most people are more familiar with him.

I prefer his costume to have the black and gray dynamics. It really brings out his eyes. But depending on the artist, or better yet, Batman’s mood (whether he’s feeling dark or blue on the night), he could be seen wearing navy blue instead of the black.

COSTUME … There’s nothing much to say about the comic Batman’s costume. Bat ears stickingout from the cowl, which is connected to his cape (Spawn-like cape in the 2nd picture, which doubles that picture’s wow-factor!). Gloves with blades on the side (retractable), utility belt with all bat-goodies, black undies and thigh-length boots (with probabaly steel-plated toe). His costume is topped-off with his famous logo of a Bat!
5/5

BODY (MUSCLES)… I being Captain Obvious, will point out that he has amazingly rippling muscles… and rather freakish thigh muscles. His body type is mesomorphic, and ain’t no Apple nor a Pear, but a Rectangle. A buff rectangle. If you’re running in the dark, and bump into Batman, his rock-hard body will instantly snap your neck.

You gotta have the body to work the spandex suit!
5/5

POWERS … He stands at 6’2″ (around 185cm) weighing 210 lbs (around 95kg), and thought by many fans that he can lift double his own weight and up to atleast 800 lbs!
That’s what you can do if you’re at…
– Peak Human Strength,
– Peak Human Reflexes,
– Peak Human Agility,
– Peak Human Speed,
– Peak Human Endurance,
– Peak Human Durability.
An ofcourse, un-dying power of will to keep on fighting. Batman is also a master of many MANY martial arts, enabling him to serve many asses! He also uses intimidation (The Batglare, when he thins his eyes and just stares at you) to best of his advantage, and the best out of anyone I know.
5/5

BRUCE WAYNE AND BATMAN …

Fuck. He’s loaded with cash. He’s tall, dark and handsome. He knows how to dress. He knows how to impress the la-dies. and he’s kinda insane, too dark at times, doesn’t 100% trust his fellow JLA teammates, be obsessive about certain cases and doesn’t know how to have fun… did I mention he’s hot?
But heck, that’s what makes him Bruce Wayne/Batman.
Even though he barely shows his emotional-side as Batman, and stuck with one facial expression, he is still a good person. He takes in young Jason Todd after Batman finds him trying to steal the Batmobile’s tire, and also gets socked in the gut by him. But Bats makes him his 2nd Robin, and nurtures him. Batman’s also a legal guardian and an adoptive father of Dick Grayson (Nightwing, formerly Robin) and Tim Drake (the current Robin).

See, he’s nice! Just needs to show more lovin’!
5/5

Obviously, New Earth’s Batman gets 20/20, perfect score. He’s the ideal Batman!, even though this doesn’t neccesarily mean he’d make an ideal man you would date.

COMING UP!
Rating the other Batmans!
Who’s the best Batman?

– Batman (1966), Adam West

– Batman Returns (1992), Michael Keaton

– Batman Forever (1995), Val Kilmer

– Batman & Robin (1997), George Clooney

– The Dark Knight (2008), Christian Bale

Stay tuned…

Adam West’s Batman… or atleast what I remember of it.

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, DC Comic with tags , , , , , on July 23, 2008 by Mao

Adam West’s Batman (TV series) was what first triggered my interest in comics. And no, I’m not over 40 y/o. I happened to have really bad satelite television, which aired that1960s show in the late 1990s.

I was in my early Primary school years, and as soon as I hear “nanananana Batman! Fatman! Batmaaaan~!”, I’d jump onto the sofa. I was totally mesmerized by the “Pow” “Bam” “Blam Blam”, and the obvious non-contact fighting scenes.
And I never really questioned myself how tight Burt Ward (Robin)’s groin area must be wearing those.


… doesn’t look too tight

… oh well…

*scrolls around on Google image search*’
… aaaand lets just say, Nostalgia > Reality

I was around 7/8 years old when I was watching it, but I wasn’t totally oblivious ’bout the details. It made me WTFOMGBBQ when Robin was getting threatened and intimidated by a supossed ‘villian’ who had the power to control a bee. Yes, a bee. Which, might I add, was totally attached to a metal (prodding) stick… prodding stick which i’ll use to poke at Batman’s Batfat.


Mmmm~ Batfaaat :)

And what I remember of the other villians weren’t really ‘evil’. They weren’t even metahumans were they? Oh wait, forgot… the power to control a bee. I bet the majority the villians were girl/boy scouts, and had amazing knot tying skills, which enabled them to always catch one of them. “Arghh! oh no, the knots too tight. Halp meeeee!”
:)
We love you Batman and Robin (and maybe Batgirl)!!!

mmm~… Bat bondage…
I bet they secretly enjoyed it.

… dude, did Bats even have Batarangs?

But then, tragedy strikes!
2/3 years later, the time slot was taken by Baywatch… t’was guilty pleasure. LOL! I pretty much had a crush on Cody. and Mitch’s son… which I forgot his name… :'(
CJ has big bewbs! and you may call me Captain Obvious.