Archive for Death

In memory of Indy

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Outsiders, Teen Titans with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 5, 2008 by Mao

I just thought Indigo’s an under-rated character, and wanted to get something about her out on the interwebs.

Clickage on pictures for bigger :)

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Indigo‘s an android from the future that killed Lilith and Troia (before Donna got revived, of course). After she was shut down, she was reactivated. No longer “evil”, she became a member of the Outsiders, much to Nightwing’s dismay.

Meet cute lil Indy

Her character’s really naive, and everything about Earth seems foreign to her. Imagine Starfire from cartoon version of Teen Titans.

Indy’s also romantically involved with Shift, who’s a clone of Metamorpho.

But in the Teen Titans/Outsiders crossover, her evil-side reemerges, meaning she started attacking the members.
… And everything ends tragically.

Now meet evil lil Indy

And this is how it ends.

If you’re confused about how Shift killed her, he turned what she was inside into flesh. But he couldn’t make it alive, therefore it killed her.

All I can say is I was REALLY sad.
She wasn’t my favourite character or anything, but I just didn’t expect it to happen. I know I know… Why didn’t I doubt if she’s really “reformed” or not, I don’t know. Plus, this scene between Shift and Indigo makes it even more emotional. You can’t help but feel for that big guy :(

And, oh my god, Nightwing!…

To cope with the death of a team mate, he has sex with Starfire… while thinking about Shift. I don’t know how that works… but yeah. Sheesh.

What it takes to be a Hero.

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Marvel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2008 by Mao

Lets face it, being a superhero nowadays is a hard business.

Everyone seems to have a fucking problem with each other. Everyone seems to have possession of a nuclear weapons. Everyone has their own army of deadly ninjas.
They all want to fuck each other up.

You’re running around saving people’s lives, but they’ll take a mick outta ya costume.

People will write slash fanfictions of you and your drinking buddies.

People will compare you with your Marvel counterpart. Now now, no one likes sibling comparisons.

If you get a bad writer, your reputation’s gonna go doooown hill. *shifty eyes at Beechen*

and we all know that comic book sales hasn’t been it’s best in the past few decades. Namely blaming the increase in cost, and younger generations not being interested in them.

… oh, and if the Didio-man hates ya, YOU’RE OUT!

In desperation to save the comic book sales, we’ve got Power Girl’s boobs growing bigger in every issue of JSA.

From modest-boob-no-cleavage…

to each-boobs-bigger-than-her-head…

Also sexual innuendos…

to kick-ass gay superheroes,

And also reviving silver-age characters… (who should just stay dead),

As well as “dramatic and tragic” deaths of the most loved superheroes, in attempt to strike up controversy and to get a “buzz” going…

… sadly, no one really cares about Connor’s death anymore, except for that whiny WW-wannabe.

But I think the biggest attempt to boost superhero comic books sales is a Multiverse/DCU/Marvel-Universe/Big event… like the Final Crisis and Civil War.
I’m not sure how Civil War’s doing, but so far Final Crisis hasn’t been as good as people were anticipating it to be.

I actually think FC: Rogues’ Revenge is better…

And lets not forget to kill/de-power/rape the super heroines and superhero-wives. :)

I don’t know… but most things in comics are now from a cookie-cutter.
See, it’s hard to be a superhero. If you’re a genuine, nice, smart do-gooder, you’re most likely to fail. But if you’re rude, dark and brooding, you’ll get Hollywood directors willing to kiss your hiney to make a movie about ya.

w0rd.
I feel like dying right now.

Good night ~.~

Why we should be glad that Superheroes aren’t real

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2008 by Mao

Other than the fact that uniformed officers will lose their ability to shoot straight or capture any criminals, they will make us shit in our pants.

Why?

… Lets take DC’s iconic Superman and Wonder Woman as an example, ignoring the fact that ones an Alien and the other’s an Amazones.

Superman –

Why this boy scout will make us shit ourselves?
Fuckin’ hell!!! LOOK AT THOSE MUSCLES! Superman’s whole body is covered with rock-hard muscle tissues, so of course no bullet can harm him. He even has bulging muscles in place where there aren’t supposed to be muscles! So I wouldn’t be surprised if the smallest and the most insignificant muscle’s able to lift a cow, and if his involuntary muscles were steel-plated. Hell, I bet he can do push ups with his pecks.

Looking good in spandex is one thing. Having freakishly large muscle capacity is another.
If Superman was real, his body will look some what like this…

Or better yet, this…

It also makes me wonder what on earth makes criminals in Metropolis commit petit crimes like hold-ups and bank robbery, when you know that a moving and breathing muscles in a form of a man is protecting the city.

And if Superman was real, I highly doubt that he would be serving justice.
His abnormal growth of muscle will be the result from high level of testosterone (thank you Biology), and high level of testosterone will make people more aggressive with a short attention span. So ladies and gents, the next time you’re at the toll booth you wouldn’t want to be taking your time. Who knows, Clark Kent might be driving right behind you… and he has heat vision, or even worse, x-ray vision to give you cancer. :'(

Superman’s aggression will probably be let out by leading a life of crime.
Let it be street fights, flipping the table during dinner time and shouting what a crappy wife he has, cussing at people while driving, raping little boys etc.

mhm :)
((Checkout this epic picture of Superman vs. Doomsday!))

Now, lets move onto…

Wonder Woman –

Wonder Woman has superhuman strength that can fuck you up.
Imagine her PMSing… not a beautiful sight is it?

She’s good looking, and her physique is feminine considering the fact that her powers can match Superman’s.
But she wouldn’t be so beautiful if she was real, or at least her body was real…

She’d be a body double of Superman, because she’s equally as strong as him.

She will look like a tranny.

She will not have boobs, but instead, muscular pecks. So you’re better off grabbing your own ass cheeks.

She’s probably also gonna have increase in growth of facial hair, chest hair and ass hair. As well as sounding like Hulk Hogan, acting like Hulk Hogan and looking like Hulk Hogan.

It would even be like having sex with Hulk Hogan. To be that fucking strong, you’d have to be on the fucking strength pills. And steroids for women will turn their clitpris into a mini-peen, and it might even be bigger than yours.  When the clit’s erect, it’s functional  like a normal penis with the head and all… without the semen of course.
I watched a documentary called “How to masturbate an elephant and other stories” few months ago, and if I remember correctly, it’s the same with female hyenas. Their clit’s like the same size as the male hyena’s peen,… and it’s all natural.

Aren’t we all glad she’s a fictional character?

Imagine yourself at Walmart, and you see that rubber gloves are on bargain!
You’re dying to have rubber gloves for some odd reason, so you go charging at the rubber glove stand at full speed.
To your luck, there’s just one left!
You reach your hand and about to grab it, when you see another hand extending towards it.
But you were faster and more cunning, enabling to get to the prize before the other person.
You look up, and to your horror it’s Wonder Woman.

What do you do?
You desperately need those rubber gloves!
a) I grabbed them first, so it’s mine!
b) Give them to Wonder Woman, my life comes before those rubber gloves *cries*

If you chose a): Wonder Woman raises her arms as you run away with the rubber gloves. With her steroid-fied manly voice she shouts; “Time to die!”. Out of nowhere, her golden lasso is summoned from her hands, striking towards you.  It wraps around you, bounding you, as Wonder Woman stomps towards you. Her hands grabs hold of your head, you shut your eyes.  With one devastating swift move, she breaks your neck. Your adventure is over.

*

If you chose b): Wonder Woman glares at you, as your shaking hands offer her the rubber gloves. She snatches them from your hand as she looks down on you.  Suddenly  with her booming voice she says; “I thank you for your  kindness, let me do you a favour”.  She tells you to extended your hands forward, you do as she demands. Her muscular hands wraps around yours, and with brutal force, she clamps your hand between hers’. CRACK! Your hands are fucked up for good; bones are sticking out, fingers bended in every direction and is all bloodied. You fall to your knees screaming, and as she walks away she says; “Now you will never need to buy any gloves”. Your adventure is over.

… Therefore you will never want to run into Wonder Woman. If you do, go into a fetal position and pray for a miracle. That’s all you can do.

Hah, imagine an island full of women like her!

Death, Resurrection and Roll-ups

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic, The Flash with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 1, 2008 by Mao

Batman fans will know that there’s a ‘Batman RIP‘ thing going on.

and it’s jingle goes something like…

Are you ready for “Batman R.I.P.”?

Who will live? Who will die? Who will be Batman?
The answers are sure to shock you in “Batman R.I.P.,”

*bites nails*
Shit son, I’m not ready!
As stupid as this may sound, I don’t want to find out what happens! I don’t want anyone to die, especially none of the Bat-family. And there’s been an on-going debate on who makes a better Batman; Nightwing or Robin. Sorry Damian, you’re out of the picture!

… and just to make it clear, Damian is Batman’s genetic son. Oh the family drama!

I just think Nightwing should stay as Nightwing. Robin (Tim) should stay as a sidekick/partner. Damian’s too ninja-like,… and isn’t he younger than Tim? Jason Todd (Red Robin), I don’t really like him, and I think he still has cooties/the evils.

Unless the next Batman’s gonna be female!
Barabara, original Batgirl, crippled, out of the picture. Current Batgirl, Cassandra, her being Batman’s a little too awkward. … Huntress? HUNTRESS, SMASH!!!!! nahhh….
Or maybe Batwoman? I never read any of her runs, so I have no idea what she’s like. And I don’t like the name Batwoman, it’s three syllables, a bit hard to cry for help yanno? “BAT-MAN!!!” “BAT-GIRL!!!” “BAT-wo-MAN!!!“.
In Final Crisis: Revelations (#1 out in Aug 13th), she’s returning from wherever she was, and she looks damn fine!

What I’m trying to say is,
I prefer Bruce Wayne as Batman. He’s the perfect creep to fill-up the suit.
I don’t follow the Bat-series, and I’m not intending too. I’ll just read the final spoiler (“Who will be Batman”), or get someone to spoil it for me.

If you’re interested, here’s the pull-list for Batman R.I.P.

Checkout Nightwing #149 , he goes against Batman’s rogue gallery… like all of them at once! I think it’s gonna be SHWEEEEET, must buy!

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Lets make this clear.
I’m not hating on Barry.
Most people seems to like the Silverage Barry.
But DUDE! It’s time to MOVE ON!

Maybe he’s going to be used as a plot device instead of taking Wally’s mantle as The Flash. Well, I’m cool with that. Or maybe his return is temporary, and he goes back to where ever La-La Land his residence’s at. I’m also cool with that.

But I will not be cool if Barry brings his old ass back into the picture, and decides to steal Wally’s costume!!!

Fuck! I’ll be so pissed.
I’ll be SO pissed that I will run downstairs, dig-up all of the nicely planted flowers, grab the closest tree and swing it into civilians, drink up all the swimming pool water so no one can swim for the rest of the Summer, kick down all the apartment-buildings and cause a domino effect, do the Canary-Cry and blowup the closest airplane flying, and HULK OUT and go on a murderous RAMPAGE!
… or maybe I’ll just rant on my blog.

I would be equally as pissed if Wally has to become ‘Kid Flash‘ again.

… we’ll see how it goes *gives off the evils*

I’m like totally sway with Jay being The Flash, because he has a different costume. And he also has a different set of friends (JSA). Plus he’s old. I like old people.

But other then that, I’m glad that ol’ speedster’s alive. :) I wonder what major Flash plot-line he’s gonna bring along.

AHA!
New Promo image for The Flash: Rebirth!

Click for bigger image and Click for article.

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Mmmm~… effective marketing~…