Archive for Hot

A Cup of Superhero: Batman

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2008 by Mao

Hah, the first drink that came to my mind was…

Espresso

Or better yet…

Double Espresso

Can it get any manly-er?

Espresso usually comes in shots, or in a smaller cup than your average coffee. This is because it’s REALLY concentrated. People at Starbucks won’t tell you this, but a whole liter of Espresso will probably kill you.
It’ll deprive you of your sleep. And without sleep your body will slowly lose it’s function. THEN YOU’LL DIE! … or it’s gonna clog your artery or something.
Who knows.

Give a cup of Espresso to a zombie. It’ll motherfucking sprint at your ass, and kill you! And being undead, it can run at your ass for the whooole day.

So how is Batman related to a shot of Espresso?
For one, he probably drinks a whole load of it. By day he’s Bruce Wayne, by night he’s Batman. Go figure how he goes on without sleep.
… And you know that evil doesn’t sleep!

You could say cappuccino, macchiato, lattes and other caffeine drinks are bitches of Espressos’… because espresso is the base of those drinks. It’d be pimping! And you know Batman, he’d rather be the leader. If he isn’t the leader, he’ll make himself the leader. If Batman goes to a S&M club, he would probably be a sadist. And when he tells you to shut up, you better shut up. Or else he’s gonna ice you… or papa spank you?

As a female, I think Batman’s hot. Bruce Wayne’s hot too. Fucking hell, I like the mysterious thing going on with him, as well as his masculinity. And you know what people say about espressos… it’s the most manliest thing you can drink… and by “people” I mean me. Some might argue and say beer’s manly. No brotha! That’s where you’re wrong. When I think of beer, I think frat boys. Espresso? Mysterious manly sexiness.

So next time you want to impress a woman, order a double espresso, loud enough for her to hear. Next thing you know, she’ll be saying “Ooooh baby, serve me a smokin’ hot shot of your espresso!”
… I didn’t know you were a barista.

But it would probably help if you look like this

Have a killer bod like this

and have a pimp chair like this

I hope I turned straight men gay.

:)

Oh, and if you’re in a relationship with Batman, you have to be bitch. So when Batty-boy wants a sandwich; “BITCH! Go make me a sandwich”, you go make him a sandwich. :) Or else he’ll denounce you and get his way because he’s “goddamn Batman” (refer to the picture below).

Some of you may sum him up as a spoilt brat who got everything and anything whenever he wanted… But think about it, he didn’t have a mommy or a daddy growing up. He’s still traumatized and felt inferior about the whole tragedy, and I’m well sure he has superior complex. So when he’s being a bossy-boot, think of him as a retarded kid with a tantrum.

That fucking Batman!!! He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum…

This way to Nightwing Goodness

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Nightwing, The Brave and The Bold, Titans with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 31, 2008 by Mao

The day started ugly.

And I know that none of you will give a damn.

I had a big pimple between my eyes. I squeezed it. It started to bleed. It hurt.
Something was wrong with my mascara brush. I couldn’t find my black eyeshadow. I applied my blush un-evenly.

I still know you don’t give a damn.

I couldn’t choose which bottom to wear. Jeans or mini-skirt? I went with the mini.
Which bag to take with me, a handbag or a rabbit rucksack? I went with the handbag.
I couldn’t remember where I placed my hairbrush, my mirror, gums?, my chap-stick and my wallet.

I bet you’re waiting for my Nightwing goodness.

I left home. And I went back to change my bag and shoes. I swapped my bag for the rabbit rucksack. I swapped my shoes for a big-toed ankle covering sneakers, it made my feet look big. Wow, that’s a mouthful.
But big feet’s cool. That means you can take up more place of the street… which is cool, i guess.

I decided to turn myself into Wolverine.

SO!
I order 5 TPB today, yay!
I ordered the the first three volume of Runaways (digest version coz im cheap). The MUCH anticipated Runaways! Fuck, I’m so excited already!
I just have to wait for 2 weeks… grrr.
I also ordered The Flash: Secret of Barry Allen, for good ol’ Flash goodness! and Outsiders/Teen Titans: Insiders, which I was skeptical about purchasing *shifty eyes*, but i did…

So, where’s the Nightwing goodness you’re looking for?
Lets starts it now,

I was seriously planning on waiting for the Titans TPB, because I didn’t want to purchase the monthly issue. Mostly because of the pressure of ‘having to buy it every month’ . Yes, I could get a Pull-list, but my income’s unstable, meaning that i strictly rely on monthly pocket money which I tend to plurge impulsivly. So when I grow up, my dream is to have a Pull-list!

MOVING ON!
I couldn’t WAIT any longer! I bought issue #1! Now I have to go look for #2-#4, great. It exceeded my expectation.

IT WAS AMAZING! NO KIDDING!

I have new found respect for Judd Winick. Nightwing was not a Virgin Mary toast! He was actually really cool and awesome, and it wasn’t because of his looks!

And did I mention the art?
After I post this I’m gonna go find out who did it! I think I found my favourite artist!

If you don’t know what Titans is, all former member of the Teen Titans (Dick, Wally, Roy etc.’s generation) gets back together. And does whatever superheroes do.

Heeey, where’s Roy’s hand?
(clockwise: Nightwing, Beast Boy, Raven, Starfire, Donna Troy, Cyborg, Flash)
hmmmm~

But OMG, this conversation between Roy (Red Arrow) and his daughter, Lian, is too cute!
eeeep! x]

Who would’ve thought! Mr. Skootch was the one responsible of putting waffles into the DVD player!
ahaha!

and naked Starfire tempting Animalman’s son… or not.

and where would I be without the Wally goodness.
I swear this issue has tons of nudity.

Guess who interrupted this amazingly interesting talk about mixing carbs and mayo? (No sarcasm intended)
The evil red goo. Curses!

and oh my…
Ho Ho Ho, I swear this issue was made for me!

*pssst* Wally! I don’t like putting carbs and mayo together either, i think that’s a decent excuse to get married. :)~

Dude, it really made me wonder why I didn’t bother buying the Titans when it first came out!
I really like Flash (Wally), Red Arrow and Nightwing. And they all happened to be in the Titans!
Schoopid schoopid Mao!

***

While I was at the comic book store, I also purchased The Brave and the Bold: Nightwing and Hawkman (plus Deadman).
I know I’m a week late, but… I don’t care!

They were great!
Nightwing was superb! Worth a million bucks!

Today started shitty, but I ran into TWO Nightwing goodness in one day!
WOHOO!

*

Then, they made him look like a douchebag…
No, the enemy didn’t push him off the side. He ran… jumped and hoped to make it to the other side… but sadly, didn’t…

Psssh! Nightwing, a douche?!
He ain’t, brotha!

So the story in a nutshell is… Nightwing lies to the Justice League, JSA, Outsiders and Teen Titans, so Hawkman, Deadman and himself can fight a big ugly dragon who has Green Arrow captive.
It sounds lame, but it’s actually real cool :)

Mmm~, douchebags~

Superhero Comics are for EVERYONE!

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic, Favourites, Marvel, Movies, Nightwing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 29, 2008 by Mao

I personally believe that anyone can like Superhero comics, and it’s not just limited to certain social-groups, age, gender and whatever.

In the past decade there’s been lots of release of Superhero-genre movies, in order to boost their comic book sales. It’s working alright! But I don’t think some people are still convinced/motivated enough to buy them. It’s probably because of the fact that the movies are directed and produced to create what the main-streamers want…

Hero strikes, Hero kicks ass of main villain, Hero gets in trouble (usually caused by the main villain), Hero resolves problem by kicking evil ass(es), Hero gets the girl/prize/serves good ol’ justice!

… and can’t risk to create something the audience might want to see. Basically because they want to make a hit film. And they also have limited time frame to work with as well as budget.

Movies have to end because it’s a story, but Comics are like soap-operas.

But comics, man!, they have all the time they want! Story-arcs can go on as long or as short as they want, and even have cross-overs, therefore having two superheroes working together. Characters can be developed continuously, giving them in-depth history to make ‘connections’ with the readers, as well as sudden revelations to make the readers go “WTFOMGBBQ! I didn’t see that coming!”. Relationships between characters will grow as years of publishing goes by, let it be friendships or romantic. Then there’s death, which will show mourning of close friends and family, and the readers will also be affected by this, because over the years of reading/character development there is bound to be attachments.

Death scenes in movies can be emotional, but it will not be anything remotely as close to Comics.

omg I must sound like a geek who wussy cries whenever fictional characters dies… I don’t! OKAY?

What I’m trying to say is, any thing’s possible in Comics!
But what most people with misconception of comics will say is… “Superhero comics are for children”
If someone says that, bitch-slap them. Were they living under a stone boulder for the past decade or two?
Yes, some comics are for children… like… the… uhh… Mickey Mouse? But comics like Pooche Cafe and Calvin and Hobbs are for both grown-ups, teens and kiddies. Superhero comics can too, be for those demographics, unless you want your 8 year old daughter reading out loud a bedroom scene or a scene of some guy getting mutilated by another… because that will be so wrong!

Your 8 year old daughter: “ohoh, ohhhhhh *sharp in-take of breath* ah! Don’t stop!!! ah, ah, ah! You’re so good, ooooooh~ oh my god!”

So if you think Superhero comics are for kids, you’re wrong, and you’re still under the impression of Golden age comics… That’s when Robin was swooping along Batman saying “Golly gee Batman!” or “Jumpin’ jiminy Batman! Look out of those ducklings!”

Aaand, when Batman fought and killed a cougar with his bare mits…

Now, that’s hardcore. Why doesn’t he do that anymore?

Moving on,…
I being a female comic reader, wants more girlies to read them!
Why?
So we can have girl talks about Super-males!

But what women or feminists will say, other than it’s boring because it’s mindless action, is “Super-females are depicted as skanks”. First they complain that there aren’t enough Super-female characters, and now this.
I actually do agree this statement to a certain extent. Take example of Starfire…

She might as well just wear stripper boots and a leaf on her vajayjay and each nipples.

This might be me just hating on her. *waves Nightwing flag*
But if I do think about this rationally, I think her costume is suitable. Why? Because the Superhero genre is targeted in men! Duh! Yes, that statement’s contradicting to my blog title.
But this doesn’t mean the women can’t enjoy reading comic books.

Lemme tell you why,
Apart from the fact that super-female costumes makes them look like space prostitutes (except for Batgirl who’s wearing Batbondage from the S&M club), most female of species are known to be insecure about their body image. But guess what, super-females have great physique! And in reality, like 5% of the whole female population will look as great as them.
We are just self-conscious.
Men on the other hand, are less self conscious. Of course some are, but there’s less of them compared to women. And they know that the super-lad’s physique are fictional and near impossible to obtain.

This is the part where I’ll tell you why women can enjoy Superhero comics…
Fucking hell are you ladies blind?! There are motherfucking hotties with great bodies running around only wearing spandex!

Men enjoys Super-females practically wearing nothing.
Women enjoys Super-hunks practically wearing nothing.

Do you think we (females) would enjoy reading comics with fat hairy men, only wearing briefs, round-house kicking bad guys? No, we wouldn’t… i know some of you would, but the majority wouldn’t.
Do you think men would enjoy reading comics about an obese florist kicking ass only wearing lingerie? No they wouldn’t.

So jesus christ women! Give the super-female hotties a break! Give some men something to imagine about. And get yourself a copy of whatever super-hunk caught your eyes, because you’re bound to enjoy it!

Don’t think fictional characters can be hot?

Maybe a playboy? … always one step ahead of ya

Fastest Man Alive? *wink wink*

Someone so mysterious that he won’t even tell you how he’s doing?

A cup of hot Cajun anyone?

Honey, the list can go on.

Are you a pedophile?
Lets check what Superhero comics have install for you!

Behind door number one if Billy Batson! He’s what? Still 12? Gifted with the power of Shazam, he can grow!
Bigger alright!, and also stronger.
Into the one, the only, Captain Marvel!

Behind door number two is boy wonder, Dick Grayson. But I think you’ll prefer him as the Golden age Robin.
He’s flexible… VERY flexible… because he’s an acrobat, duh!
And checkout those legs!

Last but not least, you think gay Superheroes don’t exist?
You’re wrong.

Take Midnighter and Apollo, they are both regulation super-hotties. Sadly, they’re gay. Matter of fact, they’re happily married.

… and they both kick ass.

And there’s also the lesbian hard-ass cop, Renee Montoya!

*ahem*
So in conclusion, wow this scarily sounds like my school report, Comics should appeal to everyone because it’s content is so broad that it touches everything. It basically also covers most “taboo” subjects that movie producers will be wavery about.
At this point, I can’t be bothered to type anymore. So I’ll make it brief… If you haven’t recently picked up any superhero comics, go out and buy one. It’s not all Batman and Superman. There’s something for everyone.

:)

((I just realized I need a Part 2. So uh… coming soon?))