Archive for Shazam

Superhero Comics are for EVERYONE!

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic, Favourites, Marvel, Movies, Nightwing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 29, 2008 by Mao

I personally believe that anyone can like Superhero comics, and it’s not just limited to certain social-groups, age, gender and whatever.

In the past decade there’s been lots of release of Superhero-genre movies, in order to boost their comic book sales. It’s working alright! But I don’t think some people are still convinced/motivated enough to buy them. It’s probably because of the fact that the movies are directed and produced to create what the main-streamers want…

Hero strikes, Hero kicks ass of main villain, Hero gets in trouble (usually caused by the main villain), Hero resolves problem by kicking evil ass(es), Hero gets the girl/prize/serves good ol’ justice!

… and can’t risk to create something the audience might want to see. Basically because they want to make a hit film. And they also have limited time frame to work with as well as budget.

Movies have to end because it’s a story, but Comics are like soap-operas.

But comics, man!, they have all the time they want! Story-arcs can go on as long or as short as they want, and even have cross-overs, therefore having two superheroes working together. Characters can be developed continuously, giving them in-depth history to make ‘connections’ with the readers, as well as sudden revelations to make the readers go “WTFOMGBBQ! I didn’t see that coming!”. Relationships between characters will grow as years of publishing goes by, let it be friendships or romantic. Then there’s death, which will show mourning of close friends and family, and the readers will also be affected by this, because over the years of reading/character development there is bound to be attachments.

Death scenes in movies can be emotional, but it will not be anything remotely as close to Comics.

omg I must sound like a geek who wussy cries whenever fictional characters dies… I don’t! OKAY?

What I’m trying to say is, any thing’s possible in Comics!
But what most people with misconception of comics will say is… “Superhero comics are for children”
If someone says that, bitch-slap them. Were they living under a stone boulder for the past decade or two?
Yes, some comics are for children… like… the… uhh… Mickey Mouse? But comics like Pooche Cafe and Calvin and Hobbs are for both grown-ups, teens and kiddies. Superhero comics can too, be for those demographics, unless you want your 8 year old daughter reading out loud a bedroom scene or a scene of some guy getting mutilated by another… because that will be so wrong!

Your 8 year old daughter: “ohoh, ohhhhhh *sharp in-take of breath* ah! Don’t stop!!! ah, ah, ah! You’re so good, ooooooh~ oh my god!”

So if you think Superhero comics are for kids, you’re wrong, and you’re still under the impression of Golden age comics… That’s when Robin was swooping along Batman saying “Golly gee Batman!” or “Jumpin’ jiminy Batman! Look out of those ducklings!”

Aaand, when Batman fought and killed a cougar with his bare mits…

Now, that’s hardcore. Why doesn’t he do that anymore?

Moving on,…
I being a female comic reader, wants more girlies to read them!
Why?
So we can have girl talks about Super-males!

But what women or feminists will say, other than it’s boring because it’s mindless action, is “Super-females are depicted as skanks”. First they complain that there aren’t enough Super-female characters, and now this.
I actually do agree this statement to a certain extent. Take example of Starfire…

She might as well just wear stripper boots and a leaf on her vajayjay and each nipples.

This might be me just hating on her. *waves Nightwing flag*
But if I do think about this rationally, I think her costume is suitable. Why? Because the Superhero genre is targeted in men! Duh! Yes, that statement’s contradicting to my blog title.
But this doesn’t mean the women can’t enjoy reading comic books.

Lemme tell you why,
Apart from the fact that super-female costumes makes them look like space prostitutes (except for Batgirl who’s wearing Batbondage from the S&M club), most female of species are known to be insecure about their body image. But guess what, super-females have great physique! And in reality, like 5% of the whole female population will look as great as them.
We are just self-conscious.
Men on the other hand, are less self conscious. Of course some are, but there’s less of them compared to women. And they know that the super-lad’s physique are fictional and near impossible to obtain.

This is the part where I’ll tell you why women can enjoy Superhero comics…
Fucking hell are you ladies blind?! There are motherfucking hotties with great bodies running around only wearing spandex!

Men enjoys Super-females practically wearing nothing.
Women enjoys Super-hunks practically wearing nothing.

Do you think we (females) would enjoy reading comics with fat hairy men, only wearing briefs, round-house kicking bad guys? No, we wouldn’t… i know some of you would, but the majority wouldn’t.
Do you think men would enjoy reading comics about an obese florist kicking ass only wearing lingerie? No they wouldn’t.

So jesus christ women! Give the super-female hotties a break! Give some men something to imagine about. And get yourself a copy of whatever super-hunk caught your eyes, because you’re bound to enjoy it!

Don’t think fictional characters can be hot?

Maybe a playboy? … always one step ahead of ya

Fastest Man Alive? *wink wink*

Someone so mysterious that he won’t even tell you how he’s doing?

A cup of hot Cajun anyone?

Honey, the list can go on.

Are you a pedophile?
Lets check what Superhero comics have install for you!

Behind door number one if Billy Batson! He’s what? Still 12? Gifted with the power of Shazam, he can grow!
Bigger alright!, and also stronger.
Into the one, the only, Captain Marvel!

Behind door number two is boy wonder, Dick Grayson. But I think you’ll prefer him as the Golden age Robin.
He’s flexible… VERY flexible… because he’s an acrobat, duh!
And checkout those legs!

Last but not least, you think gay Superheroes don’t exist?
You’re wrong.

Take Midnighter and Apollo, they are both regulation super-hotties. Sadly, they’re gay. Matter of fact, they’re happily married.

… and they both kick ass.

And there’s also the lesbian hard-ass cop, Renee Montoya!

*ahem*
So in conclusion, wow this scarily sounds like my school report, Comics should appeal to everyone because it’s content is so broad that it touches everything. It basically also covers most “taboo” subjects that movie producers will be wavery about.
At this point, I can’t be bothered to type anymore. So I’ll make it brief… If you haven’t recently picked up any superhero comics, go out and buy one. It’s not all Batman and Superman. There’s something for everyone.

:)

((I just realized I need a Part 2. So uh… coming soon?))

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