Archive for Sex

Rejection never looked any Sweeter

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Young Liars with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2008 by Mao

Because it’s Starfire getting total EPIC rejection by Nightwing. PWNNEEEEED!!!

He don’t love you BITCH, ahaha!!!

Starfire gets rejected by Nightwing

… awkwaaaard.
Every time there’s an awkward silence, a gay baby’s born.

Massive melons.

I also bought the new issue of Tiny Titans, they get their report cards! … and I got two of my favourites here~
I seriously saw this coming, but it’s way cuter than what I imagined!

xD~

And as you might’ve also guessed, Robin is scared of clowns! I believe the last panel will totally make the “Awwww” of the day.
Elementary my dear Watson.

I recently picked up a new title called Young Liars… and dropped Batgirl.
omg, I just jumped on board and I already have a clear idea what’s going on. T’is amazing!  Very Tarntino-esque. Fucking random, but awesome randomness.
You just can’t expect what’s gonna happen next!

I love it when little girls kicks ass :’)

Btw, it’s Vertigo.
Just imagine your mom getting nailed on the dining table while you’re eating supper. :)

Pickup Young Liars, coz it’s one of the most amazingest comics I’ve read. I’d give it the Mao-assurance-for-amazingness stamp :)

In memory of Indy

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Outsiders, Teen Titans with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 5, 2008 by Mao

I just thought Indigo’s an under-rated character, and wanted to get something about her out on the interwebs.

Clickage on pictures for bigger :)

***

Indigo‘s an android from the future that killed Lilith and Troia (before Donna got revived, of course). After she was shut down, she was reactivated. No longer “evil”, she became a member of the Outsiders, much to Nightwing’s dismay.

Meet cute lil Indy

Her character’s really naive, and everything about Earth seems foreign to her. Imagine Starfire from cartoon version of Teen Titans.

Indy’s also romantically involved with Shift, who’s a clone of Metamorpho.

But in the Teen Titans/Outsiders crossover, her evil-side reemerges, meaning she started attacking the members.
… And everything ends tragically.

Now meet evil lil Indy

And this is how it ends.

If you’re confused about how Shift killed her, he turned what she was inside into flesh. But he couldn’t make it alive, therefore it killed her.

All I can say is I was REALLY sad.
She wasn’t my favourite character or anything, but I just didn’t expect it to happen. I know I know… Why didn’t I doubt if she’s really “reformed” or not, I don’t know. Plus, this scene between Shift and Indigo makes it even more emotional. You can’t help but feel for that big guy :(

And, oh my god, Nightwing!…

To cope with the death of a team mate, he has sex with Starfire… while thinking about Shift. I don’t know how that works… but yeah. Sheesh.

What it takes to be a Hero.

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Marvel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2008 by Mao

Lets face it, being a superhero nowadays is a hard business.

Everyone seems to have a fucking problem with each other. Everyone seems to have possession of a nuclear weapons. Everyone has their own army of deadly ninjas.
They all want to fuck each other up.

You’re running around saving people’s lives, but they’ll take a mick outta ya costume.

People will write slash fanfictions of you and your drinking buddies.

People will compare you with your Marvel counterpart. Now now, no one likes sibling comparisons.

If you get a bad writer, your reputation’s gonna go doooown hill. *shifty eyes at Beechen*

and we all know that comic book sales hasn’t been it’s best in the past few decades. Namely blaming the increase in cost, and younger generations not being interested in them.

… oh, and if the Didio-man hates ya, YOU’RE OUT!

In desperation to save the comic book sales, we’ve got Power Girl’s boobs growing bigger in every issue of JSA.

From modest-boob-no-cleavage…

to each-boobs-bigger-than-her-head…

Also sexual innuendos…

to kick-ass gay superheroes,

And also reviving silver-age characters… (who should just stay dead),

As well as “dramatic and tragic” deaths of the most loved superheroes, in attempt to strike up controversy and to get a “buzz” going…

… sadly, no one really cares about Connor’s death anymore, except for that whiny WW-wannabe.

But I think the biggest attempt to boost superhero comic books sales is a Multiverse/DCU/Marvel-Universe/Big event… like the Final Crisis and Civil War.
I’m not sure how Civil War’s doing, but so far Final Crisis hasn’t been as good as people were anticipating it to be.

I actually think FC: Rogues’ Revenge is better…

And lets not forget to kill/de-power/rape the super heroines and superhero-wives. :)

I don’t know… but most things in comics are now from a cookie-cutter.
See, it’s hard to be a superhero. If you’re a genuine, nice, smart do-gooder, you’re most likely to fail. But if you’re rude, dark and brooding, you’ll get Hollywood directors willing to kiss your hiney to make a movie about ya.

w0rd.
I feel like dying right now.

Good night ~.~

Up, Up and Away! … then Down, Down it goes…

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Nightwing, Titans with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2008 by Mao

Yesterday was an awesome day. But not today :(

As I mentioned in the last part of yesterday’s entry, I was like waaay looking forward for Nightwing #147 and a TPB I ordered. But OH THE TRAGEDY!, no new comics were released at my comic book store!

side note: It takes an extra day for new comic release in Hong Kong.

Because of the typhoon which skimmed past Hong Kong on Wednesday , all business was closed… therefore the boxes of comic goodness was still at the airport this afternoon. Dude, it wasn’t that bad…. I mean like sure, the wind was knocking all the trash cans over and the rain flooded the rural areas, but come on! ugh, I love being so selfish.

But I’m a REALLY lazy fucker, so it takes great commitment for me to go ALL the way to the comic book store. And it opens at like 3pm, and all the cool cartoons starts around 5pm so I gotta go real quicky.
ahaha I read what I wrote, and I hate myself! :D

So while I was there, I did buy Titans #3 (grrr they didn’t have #2) so I’ll be kinda up to date when issue 4 comes out on the 27th! *high-five* I also grabbed the last copy of Final Crisis: Rogue’s Revenge #1, which I have yet to read.

And I also wrote a list of Nightwing and Flash issues to buy. But sadly, there weren’t any left. The issues I wanted were all Nightwing/Flash crossovers! :( I hate it when people think like me (or when I think like people)!
I wanted issue #211, and it would go something like…

*Me flipping through comics*
#208
*flip*
#209
*flip*
#210
“omg, I’m like so sure they’ll have #211 since they had the previous 3 issues”
*flip*
#212

Evil organised comics put in numerical order to fool me!
That, my children, is one evil motherfucking way to raise someone’s hope. And then to crush it with the mits!

… and yea, that happened to like every single issue I wanted :)

*le sigh*

But a good thing did happen! I really enjoyed ready Titans #3! I loved the first issue, and thought Judd Winick got lucky. But now I think I really like his stuff? and even though the artist is different from #1, the art’s still top notch.
I’m Lovin’ It! (sue me -_-)

***

From here on, it may contain spoilers and traces of nuts.

So just don’t read from here onwards if you’re allergic to nuts.

OK, so what you need to know about this issue is that Wally’s a wanker and you’ll get a massive urge to kick him in the arse. BUT that’s not the Wally we know, because he’s a cutie sweetie pie guy. Mmmm, pie guy~ *drools* Raven and Beast Boy goes on a bitch fit and they start fighting each other, yadda yadda yadda. And it turns out that they were acting “out of character” because evil people gave them cooties.
I air quoted, because I think the way they acted in this issue’s how they feel about each other, but was multiplied by like 14.8ish.

There’s waaay more to this issue, I just don’t wanna type it all out because I don’t want DC’s sales to go down… and I hate typing summarise. So go buy it folks!

Anyway, there’s this steamy scene where Nightwing and Starfire are having sex.

For your viewing pleasue, click for bigger.

That fucking guppy-like skank!

That’s like… soooo un-professional Dick! And I like super duper deny that Dick still has feelings for Star coz he like SOOO got over her years ago, and is like in-total-love with Michelle! (I’m destined to direct a chick-flick movie)

So to wrap it up, I’m a fat ass that already ate 1K calories before dinner that’s going to go read a comic book.

Toodles!

To-mo-row I’m getting…
*chants* Nightwing issue 1-4-7, Nightwing issue 1-4-7, Nightwing issue 1-4-7, */chants*

yay!

Why we should be glad that Superheroes aren’t real

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2008 by Mao

Other than the fact that uniformed officers will lose their ability to shoot straight or capture any criminals, they will make us shit in our pants.

Why?

… Lets take DC’s iconic Superman and Wonder Woman as an example, ignoring the fact that ones an Alien and the other’s an Amazones.

Superman –

Why this boy scout will make us shit ourselves?
Fuckin’ hell!!! LOOK AT THOSE MUSCLES! Superman’s whole body is covered with rock-hard muscle tissues, so of course no bullet can harm him. He even has bulging muscles in place where there aren’t supposed to be muscles! So I wouldn’t be surprised if the smallest and the most insignificant muscle’s able to lift a cow, and if his involuntary muscles were steel-plated. Hell, I bet he can do push ups with his pecks.

Looking good in spandex is one thing. Having freakishly large muscle capacity is another.
If Superman was real, his body will look some what like this…

Or better yet, this…

It also makes me wonder what on earth makes criminals in Metropolis commit petit crimes like hold-ups and bank robbery, when you know that a moving and breathing muscles in a form of a man is protecting the city.

And if Superman was real, I highly doubt that he would be serving justice.
His abnormal growth of muscle will be the result from high level of testosterone (thank you Biology), and high level of testosterone will make people more aggressive with a short attention span. So ladies and gents, the next time you’re at the toll booth you wouldn’t want to be taking your time. Who knows, Clark Kent might be driving right behind you… and he has heat vision, or even worse, x-ray vision to give you cancer. :'(

Superman’s aggression will probably be let out by leading a life of crime.
Let it be street fights, flipping the table during dinner time and shouting what a crappy wife he has, cussing at people while driving, raping little boys etc.

mhm :)
((Checkout this epic picture of Superman vs. Doomsday!))

Now, lets move onto…

Wonder Woman –

Wonder Woman has superhuman strength that can fuck you up.
Imagine her PMSing… not a beautiful sight is it?

She’s good looking, and her physique is feminine considering the fact that her powers can match Superman’s.
But she wouldn’t be so beautiful if she was real, or at least her body was real…

She’d be a body double of Superman, because she’s equally as strong as him.

She will look like a tranny.

She will not have boobs, but instead, muscular pecks. So you’re better off grabbing your own ass cheeks.

She’s probably also gonna have increase in growth of facial hair, chest hair and ass hair. As well as sounding like Hulk Hogan, acting like Hulk Hogan and looking like Hulk Hogan.

It would even be like having sex with Hulk Hogan. To be that fucking strong, you’d have to be on the fucking strength pills. And steroids for women will turn their clitpris into a mini-peen, and it might even be bigger than yours.  When the clit’s erect, it’s functional  like a normal penis with the head and all… without the semen of course.
I watched a documentary called “How to masturbate an elephant and other stories” few months ago, and if I remember correctly, it’s the same with female hyenas. Their clit’s like the same size as the male hyena’s peen,… and it’s all natural.

Aren’t we all glad she’s a fictional character?

Imagine yourself at Walmart, and you see that rubber gloves are on bargain!
You’re dying to have rubber gloves for some odd reason, so you go charging at the rubber glove stand at full speed.
To your luck, there’s just one left!
You reach your hand and about to grab it, when you see another hand extending towards it.
But you were faster and more cunning, enabling to get to the prize before the other person.
You look up, and to your horror it’s Wonder Woman.

What do you do?
You desperately need those rubber gloves!
a) I grabbed them first, so it’s mine!
b) Give them to Wonder Woman, my life comes before those rubber gloves *cries*

If you chose a): Wonder Woman raises her arms as you run away with the rubber gloves. With her steroid-fied manly voice she shouts; “Time to die!”. Out of nowhere, her golden lasso is summoned from her hands, striking towards you.  It wraps around you, bounding you, as Wonder Woman stomps towards you. Her hands grabs hold of your head, you shut your eyes.  With one devastating swift move, she breaks your neck. Your adventure is over.

*

If you chose b): Wonder Woman glares at you, as your shaking hands offer her the rubber gloves. She snatches them from your hand as she looks down on you.  Suddenly  with her booming voice she says; “I thank you for your  kindness, let me do you a favour”.  She tells you to extended your hands forward, you do as she demands. Her muscular hands wraps around yours, and with brutal force, she clamps your hand between hers’. CRACK! Your hands are fucked up for good; bones are sticking out, fingers bended in every direction and is all bloodied. You fall to your knees screaming, and as she walks away she says; “Now you will never need to buy any gloves”. Your adventure is over.

… Therefore you will never want to run into Wonder Woman. If you do, go into a fetal position and pray for a miracle. That’s all you can do.

Hah, imagine an island full of women like her!

My Favourite Comics, Part 2!

Posted in All Blogs, Cartoon, Comics, DC Comic, Favourites, Nightwing, Outsiders, Teen Titans, Young Justice with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2008 by Mao

As mentioned in Part 1, I mostly enjoy reading Team Superhero Comics!
Just the idea of each indivisual with different superpower coming together and working together, is.just.plain.AWESOME! I do enjoy wrestling, especially tag-teams. It’s like… with a help of another person, they can do something completely new and extreme with their powers.

Gotta love ’em WonderPets!

So, my favourite teams…

Young Justice

Teenage Superheroes! Tons of bickering, hormones and humor! Good read if you’re up for laughs. They were the first Super-team TPB I bought (JLA: World WIthout Grownups), in which 3 completely different teenagers (Robin, Superboy and Impulse) comes together.

Robin (Tim) … being Batman’s protege, is the mature and level-headed of the bunch, and naturally becomes the leader.
Superboy (“Conner”) … thinks with his manhood, arrogant and a bit cocky. But he does mature by the time he’s a part of the Teen Titans.
Impulse (Bart) … boy oh boy. His name is self-explanatory: impulsive! Immature AND reckless. But he keeps the series humorous. :) He is a good kid!

*remembers great Impulse scenes from JLA: WWG*
*quickly scans*

Impulse owning young Joker
… and
… and

Nazi Dinosaurs from Venus. Greaaat~…

Although all 3 of thier personalities gratly differs, they come together and kicks some evil hiney! And their dynamics is what makes the short-lived series brilliant :)
Ofcourse, later on in the series they are joined by other super-teens…. Secret, Wondergirl, Arrowette, Empress and Slobo (who’s a kid version of Lobo xD).

Teen Titans –I bet you didn’t see the coming! *sarcasm*
So it’s basically 4 members from Young Justice, joining the 4 old members of the Teen Titans. And Impulse becomes Kid Flash during this series! Awesome costume change too <3 He becomes more intelligent after he reads the whole San Fransico library in under 20 minutes, and matures a lot. BUT! He’s still the most nicest guy in the team, sweet boy :)

Brownie point for you Bart!

Superboy, Kon-El, Connor Kent, starts Smallville High School and also gets a costume change.
He goes from wearing a sexified Superman costume + leather jacket + ear-ring…

To wearing a… well… plain black shirt with Supe’s logo

… his hair reminds me of Forest Gump

Wait, lemme grow some more hair on him…
It’s the small change that counts!

Ugh.
But I guess Superboy looks more like a “civilian” now (I hope that’s the image he was going for), and maybe a bit retarted.
Still love ya Connor!

Hah, look at what I just found!

Creepy… indeed…
… and something’s very wrong with Starfire’s head… Ohright , it’s just bent 45º to her left.
Why couldn’t Cartoon Network/Kids WB just get some people to cosplay as them? and instead used cheap China labour to manufacture the Teen Titans suit? I guess we’ll never know.

Oh, and speaking of Starfire. SLUTTY!
Her suit barely covers her titties nor ass. Wait, it doesn’t even cover her ass, but only her butt-crack.
Gotta admit, neat picture…

De-railing here!
Gotta focus on how awesome Teen Titans are.

I just think I love them Teen Titans (Gotta buy the Titans TPB when it’s out! Wally, Dick and Troia in the same series again!)… AHHH, see what I keep doing here? I just keep getting distracted by stupid pop-ups in my head!

I just think I love them Teen Titans because I love(ed) Young Justice! Eventhough I didn’t growup reading weekly issues of Young Justice nor Teen Titans, I did come across Young Justice first. And I really grew into them. And few years later I decided to give Teen Titans a shot. It took me a while to pick the title up because of the image the cartoon version embedded in my head.
No offense… I do enjoy watching the cartoon series. But I wouldn’t pay to read the comic series (except for the issue in which Kid Flash races against Mas y Menos).
If you enjoy Teen Titans, checkout Tiny Titans!

(Superboy has to take care of Krypto, the Superdog.)

mhm, so…

Go Titans!

and finally…

Outsiders –

Unlike most super-teams, the team isn’t family based and more “work” based. This was so that they wouldn’t be emotionally involved with each other.
I think that’s pretty cool :D
They get paid to serve Justice!

I basically purchsed The Outsiders, for the sake of seeing Nightwing in-action and working in a team. But I didn’t get what I was expecting.
This is usually the part in which I tell you about how much more Nightwing proved to be and how awesome he is.
But I’m not gonna.
Because Nightwing was basically like a piece of toast.

He’s edgy, nicely toned, but just plain boring!

Maybe he’d be a Virgin Mary Toast. He’s nice to look at…

… He’s also a great leader (given the fact that his team could sometimes be full of naggy folks).

So I guess that would make him a great leader toast.

and watch ’em go COMMANDO!

.

.

.

But I got a plesant suprise from the other Outsider members! Grace (red haired girl) is a juggernaut! She’s unbelivably bitchy, but she’s hilarious and an awesome character! Another character which I didn’t expect to like was Shift, the clone of Metamorpho. He’s a “nice guy” and has this Ooomph-gene in him which just made me like him!

… And this is one of the coolest tag-team scenes I’ve ever seen!
Grace and Thunder! Grace has metahuman strength, and Thunder can change her body density.
They catch a jet, an effing jet! Thunder gets as dense as she can, and hangs onto Grace as she catches the jet (Grace is also able to heal really fast).

My awesome scanning skill hacked off the side…
Grace: “Good, we’re right on target”
Thunder: “This is so stupid! We’re just gonna die, Grace! Look at the size of the plane! It’ll just roadkill us all the way to the upper West side!”
Grace: “Shut up, just shut up your prissy sorority-girl cake hole, okay?!”
… and the rest, you can read for yourself :)

Outsiders is full of swear words, semi-nudity, extremeness… and i love it! It’s great to know that superheroes have sex life yanno?
How I know they do?
Well checkit!

In vol. 2 , they go at it again.
And the Peqod is the name of their jet.

The sad thing about this series is that the 1st and the 2nd volume of the TPB is great! But from there it slowly goes downhill. I haven’t collected all TPB of the Outsiders, I’m just not sure if it’s worth getting them anymore.

Maybe Nightwing, … maybe…

Runaways will probably make it onto this list in a few weeks time, when I can actually get my hands on them! I gotta wait till my next pocket-money day, and it takes up to 2 weeks for the orders to arrive! ARGH! I’m sure it’s gonna be a great read, unless all reviews that I’ve read were full of bullshit.
I’ll see how it goes.