Why DC can Grill Steak Marvel’s ass

Welcome to my new blog entry, in which I show my extreme biased opinion towards the never ending battle between DC Comics and Marvel :) … and I am clearly a DC supporter. *waves DC flag*

I’ll keep this blog short and sweet, while I make my Mac ‘n Cheese.

My pasta’s spiral :)

So why DC can stir-fry Marvel?
DC Comics clearly have a much better movie lineup coming up, compared to Marvel! and The Dark Knight clearly out-did Spiderman 3.

DC’s lineup…

The Spirit (2008)

Watchmen (2009)

Wonder Woman (2009) – animated, straight to DVD

Superman: Man of Steel (2009)

Teen Titans: The Judas Contract (rawr!) – animated, straight to DVD

Jonah Hex (2010)

The Flash (2010)

Justice League: Mortal (2011)

Y: The Last Man (idk?)

Most of them are still in the pre-production stage. So hopefully, all of them makes it to the big screens/DVD *crosses finger*

Watchmen is the next on the lineup (after the Frank Miller-fied Spirit). and I just watched the latest film trailer. Is it awesome, or is it AWESOME? It looks plain amazing and epic! Nothing like The Fantastic Four or Hulk! In the past few years/months, we were bombarded with average Marvel movies. Now it’s DC’s turn to hit the silver screens with waaay brill movies.

… and are they seriously making another Superman movie?
No offense to the big man, but he’s kinda… boring. And his only real enemy are Kryptonites… OMG, unless they’re planning on using Dark Seid as the villain! :O Then that would be so cool!

Ok, Teen Titans: The Judas Contract. I can’t express how frustrated I am with this. I heard about the pre-production of this movie more than a year ago. Few months ago, I checked back to how it was doing. Then they decided to put it ‘on hold’ because they aren’t sure if there are enough fans to support it.
*grumble grumble*
This straight to DVD film was scheduled to be released before Wonder Woman, but now it’s pushed back. Plus, Kid Flash and Jericho aren’t even gonna be in it … WHYYYY, KID FLAAAAAAASH, WHHHHHY?!?!?!!! I still do have high hopes for this DVD, since it does have an amazing storyline.
If anyone from DC Comics is reading this, I will bloody purchase the DVD! Release it now! … please? :)

Fuck, pasta!
… over cooked my pasta! Now it’s all soft and squiggy. :( Oh well, at least it’s still edible.

Jonah Hex. Are you shitting me?
Unless someone on IMDB is joking around, why are they making this film. I don’t think his fan-base is big enough. *shrugs*

The Flash!!!
FYb kjd ngbl kndykb;mu, need I say more? :DDDDDDDDDDDD
Fuckin’ hell! They better release it by 2010, and not push it back! I vote for Ryan Reynolds as The Flash, Wally West, the man!
nyahahhahaha!

Justice League: Mortal sounds bloody brilliant! I’ll deffinatley need another blog post for this, but this thing is gonna be huge! I’m telling ya now! But Adam Brody as The Flash (rumoured), oh pah-lease! If it really is him, I’m gonna hate the fangirls that’s gonna come along with him. And ima be crossing my fingers in hopes of Flash being Wally… and not Barry.

***

Ok, now lets checkout Marvel’s upcoming movies.

Marvel’s lineup…

Wolverine

Punisher 2 – War Zone

Ant-Man

Captain America

Nick Fury (what, again? Remake or wrong info?)

Thor

The Avengers

Runaways

I can’t be butt fucked to find the dates.

Wolverine is getting his own spin-off, and rumor says that Gambit‘s gonna be in it! … and that’s about the only pros I can think of.

Punisher‘s pretty cool, so props to him :)

Ant-Man and Thor, Laughing My Fucking Ass OFF!!!
AHHAHAHHAHA< LOLOOLOLOLOL. LMFAAOOOAOAOAOOO.
’nuff said.

LOL!

What does Ant-Man look like? An ant! Why is it okay for Batman to dress like a bat, and not for Ant-man? Because bats are cooler than ants! and what can Ant-Man to dress like an ant? hmmm… Oh yeah! Shrink into a size of an ant! How useful can that power be?!

…
…
… touche

and Please don’t tell me you weren’t expecting The Avengers as soon as you saw Ironman’s film poster.

Runaways… I think it’s gonna be farking amazaing :) Cast me me me!!! I wanna be Nico!

Now, compare Marvels’ lineup with DCs’…
Marvel, you just got served!

***

I just found out that Legion of Superheroes are gonna come out in Smallville. I don’t know why, but I don’t think Legion of Superheores are cool. I think they’re… un-cool? >.< I didn’t enjoy the cartoon version either. Season 2 was better than the first, thanks to the heroes ‘growing up’, and making it bearable to watch. It was a pleasure to watch the Lightening Dude (Live wire?) and Superman-X.
We’ll see how the Legion does in Smallville.

***

Ugh, so much for keeping it short and sweet.

And I just noticed that it’s been approximately a week since I made my WordPress account.
So yay! :)

Superhero Comics are for EVERYONE!

I personally believe that anyone can like Superhero comics, and it’s not just limited to certain social-groups, age, gender and whatever.

In the past decade there’s been lots of release of Superhero-genre movies, in order to boost their comic book sales. It’s working alright! But I don’t think some people are still convinced/motivated enough to buy them. It’s probably because of the fact that the movies are directed and produced to create what the main-streamers want…

Hero strikes, Hero kicks ass of main villain, Hero gets in trouble (usually caused by the main villain), Hero resolves problem by kicking evil ass(es), Hero gets the girl/prize/serves good ol’ justice!

… and can’t risk to create something the audience might want to see. Basically because they want to make a hit film. And they also have limited time frame to work with as well as budget.

Movies have to end because it’s a story, but Comics are like soap-operas.

But comics, man!, they have all the time they want! Story-arcs can go on as long or as short as they want, and even have cross-overs, therefore having two superheroes working together. Characters can be developed continuously, giving them in-depth history to make ‘connections’ with the readers, as well as sudden revelations to make the readers go “WTFOMGBBQ! I didn’t see that coming!”. Relationships between characters will grow as years of publishing goes by, let it be friendships or romantic. Then there’s death, which will show mourning of close friends and family, and the readers will also be affected by this, because over the years of reading/character development there is bound to be attachments.

Death scenes in movies can be emotional, but it will not be anything remotely as close to Comics.

omg I must sound like a geek who wussy cries whenever fictional characters dies… I don’t! OKAY?

What I’m trying to say is, any thing’s possible in Comics!
But what most people with misconception of comics will say is… “Superhero comics are for children”
If someone says that, bitch-slap them. Were they living under a stone boulder for the past decade or two?
Yes, some comics are for children… like… the… uhh… Mickey Mouse? But comics like Pooche Cafe and Calvin and Hobbs are for both grown-ups, teens and kiddies. Superhero comics can too, be for those demographics, unless you want your 8 year old daughter reading out loud a bedroom scene or a scene of some guy getting mutilated by another… because that will be so wrong!

Your 8 year old daughter: “ohoh, ohhhhhh *sharp in-take of breath* ah! Don’t stop!!! ah, ah, ah! You’re so good, ooooooh~ oh my god!”

So if you think Superhero comics are for kids, you’re wrong, and you’re still under the impression of Golden age comics… That’s when Robin was swooping along Batman saying “Golly gee Batman!” or “Jumpin’ jiminy Batman! Look out of those ducklings!”

Aaand, when Batman fought and killed a cougar with his bare mits…

Now, that’s hardcore. Why doesn’t he do that anymore?

Moving on,…
I being a female comic reader, wants more girlies to read them!
Why?
So we can have girl talks about Super-males!

But what women or feminists will say, other than it’s boring because it’s mindless action, is “Super-females are depicted as skanks”. First they complain that there aren’t enough Super-female characters, and now this.
I actually do agree this statement to a certain extent. Take example of Starfire…

She might as well just wear stripper boots and a leaf on her vajayjay and each nipples.

This might be me just hating on her. *waves Nightwing flag*
But if I do think about this rationally, I think her costume is suitable. Why? Because the Superhero genre is targeted in men! Duh! Yes, that statement’s contradicting to my blog title.
But this doesn’t mean the women can’t enjoy reading comic books.

Lemme tell you why,
Apart from the fact that super-female costumes makes them look like space prostitutes (except for Batgirl who’s wearing Batbondage from the S&M club), most female of species are known to be insecure about their body image. But guess what, super-females have great physique! And in reality, like 5% of the whole female population will look as great as them.
We are just self-conscious.
Men on the other hand, are less self conscious. Of course some are, but there’s less of them compared to women. And they know that the super-lad’s physique are fictional and near impossible to obtain.

This is the part where I’ll tell you why women can enjoy Superhero comics…
Fucking hell are you ladies blind?! There are motherfucking hotties with great bodies running around only wearing spandex!

Men enjoys Super-females practically wearing nothing.
Women enjoys Super-hunks practically wearing nothing.

Do you think we (females) would enjoy reading comics with fat hairy men, only wearing briefs, round-house kicking bad guys? No, we wouldn’t… i know some of you would, but the majority wouldn’t.
Do you think men would enjoy reading comics about an obese florist kicking ass only wearing lingerie? No they wouldn’t.

So jesus christ women! Give the super-female hotties a break! Give some men something to imagine about. And get yourself a copy of whatever super-hunk caught your eyes, because you’re bound to enjoy it!

Don’t think fictional characters can be hot?

Maybe a playboy? … always one step ahead of ya

Fastest Man Alive? *wink wink*

Someone so mysterious that he won’t even tell you how he’s doing?

A cup of hot Cajun anyone?

Honey, the list can go on.

Are you a pedophile?
Lets check what Superhero comics have install for you!

Behind door number one if Billy Batson! He’s what? Still 12? Gifted with the power of Shazam, he can grow!
Bigger alright!, and also stronger.
Into the one, the only, Captain Marvel!

Behind door number two is boy wonder, Dick Grayson. But I think you’ll prefer him as the Golden age Robin.
He’s flexible… VERY flexible… because he’s an acrobat, duh!
And checkout those legs!

Last but not least, you think gay Superheroes don’t exist?
You’re wrong.

Take Midnighter and Apollo, they are both regulation super-hotties. Sadly, they’re gay. Matter of fact, they’re happily married.

… and they both kick ass.

And there’s also the lesbian hard-ass cop, Renee Montoya!

*ahem*
So in conclusion, wow this scarily sounds like my school report, Comics should appeal to everyone because it’s content is so broad that it touches everything. It basically also covers most “taboo” subjects that movie producers will be wavery about.
At this point, I can’t be bothered to type anymore. So I’ll make it brief… If you haven’t recently picked up any superhero comics, go out and buy one. It’s not all Batman and Superman. There’s something for everyone.

:)

((I just realized I need a Part 2. So uh… coming soon?))

Rate ’em Batmans!

Seven live-action Batman movies has been made, counting from 1966!

Batman? Batman, seven live-action movies for you! You go Batman!

That’s not including the animated movies! Impresiiive~ And I believe that he’s the only character who has the most movies based on him. Beating out Star Wars, Indiana Jones and the Man of Steel himself. *rubs nails against chest*

In a nutshell, Bats owns you (you, you, you and yes, you too Spidey!)! You will never get seven movies based on your life, even by the time you’re 69 years old! Why you ask? Because your life ain’t anywhere as exciting as his.

Want more than seven movies based on your life?
Well I suggest you find yourself a secret base, dress up as your favourite animal, name everything after your favourite animal, get a pre-pubescent kid to be your sidekick and start kicking some ASS! Don’t forget to have extreme split personalities (you’re one step closer if you have bipolar), and have different voices for both of them. :]

What I’m getting at is that Batman’s Batcostume changes throughout each movie. From wearing tights (for real), to having rubber nipples. As well as the men under the masks, and each Batmans have certain degree of Awesomeness!

The Batmans I will be reviewing are…

– Batman (1966), Adam West

– Batman Returns (1992), Michael Keaton

– Batman Forever (1995), Val Kilmer

– Batman & Robin (1997), George Clooney

– The Dark Knight (2008), the guy who assulted his mom and sister Christian Bale

I left out Batman (1989) and Batman Begins (2005), because of repeat actors.

***

Lets start with the ideal Batman, the template of all Batmans, the man himself… Bruce Wayne! I’ll be using New Earth’s Batman, since he’s so perfect and dreamy most people are more familiar with him.

I prefer his costume to have the black and gray dynamics. It really brings out his eyes. But depending on the artist, or better yet, Batman’s mood (whether he’s feeling dark or blue on the night), he could be seen wearing navy blue instead of the black.

COSTUME … There’s nothing much to say about the comic Batman’s costume. Bat ears stickingout from the cowl, which is connected to his cape (Spawn-like cape in the 2nd picture, which doubles that picture’s wow-factor!). Gloves with blades on the side (retractable), utility belt with all bat-goodies, black undies and thigh-length boots (with probabaly steel-plated toe). His costume is topped-off with his famous logo of a Bat!
5/5

BODY (MUSCLES)… I being Captain Obvious, will point out that he has amazingly rippling muscles… and rather freakish thigh muscles. His body type is mesomorphic, and ain’t no Apple nor a Pear, but a Rectangle. A buff rectangle. If you’re running in the dark, and bump into Batman, his rock-hard body will instantly snap your neck.

You gotta have the body to work the spandex suit!
5/5

POWERS … He stands at 6’2″ (around 185cm) weighing 210 lbs (around 95kg), and thought by many fans that he can lift double his own weight and up to atleast 800 lbs!
That’s what you can do if you’re at…
– Peak Human Strength,
– Peak Human Reflexes,
– Peak Human Agility,
– Peak Human Speed,
– Peak Human Endurance,
– Peak Human Durability.
An ofcourse, un-dying power of will to keep on fighting. Batman is also a master of many MANY martial arts, enabling him to serve many asses! He also uses intimidation (The Batglare, when he thins his eyes and just stares at you) to best of his advantage, and the best out of anyone I know.
5/5

BRUCE WAYNE AND BATMAN …

Fuck. He’s loaded with cash. He’s tall, dark and handsome. He knows how to dress. He knows how to impress the la-dies. and he’s kinda insane, too dark at times, doesn’t 100% trust his fellow JLA teammates, be obsessive about certain cases and doesn’t know how to have fun… did I mention he’s hot?
But heck, that’s what makes him Bruce Wayne/Batman.
Even though he barely shows his emotional-side as Batman, and stuck with one facial expression, he is still a good person. He takes in young Jason Todd after Batman finds him trying to steal the Batmobile’s tire, and also gets socked in the gut by him. But Bats makes him his 2nd Robin, and nurtures him. Batman’s also a legal guardian and an adoptive father of Dick Grayson (Nightwing, formerly Robin) and Tim Drake (the current Robin).

See, he’s nice! Just needs to show more lovin’!
5/5

Obviously, New Earth’s Batman gets 20/20, perfect score. He’s the ideal Batman!, even though this doesn’t neccesarily mean he’d make an ideal man you would date.

COMING UP!
Rating the other Batmans!
Who’s the best Batman?

– Batman (1966), Adam West

– Batman Returns (1992), Michael Keaton

– Batman Forever (1995), Val Kilmer

– Batman & Robin (1997), George Clooney

– The Dark Knight (2008), Christian Bale

Stay tuned…