Archive for August, 2008

Give me a Fucking break!

Posted in All Blogs, DC Comic, Life, The Flash with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 31, 2008 by Mao

As I mentioned before, I’m doing an IB diploma.
I’m weird, so I think it’s fun. But fucking hell, we get a mad amount of homework.

I just did 3 hours worth of math homework, and I haven’tfinished it yet! … and lemme tell you, I’m pretty quick when it comes to math.
I also did 2 pages of importance of the streetcar and the trunk in The Streetcar Named Desire for English.
I wrote a fucking essay on population growth for Environmental System.
And to fucking add onto that, I did an hour worth of Spanish revision since the class is going at a mental pace.

Total amount of time spent on homework = VERY FUCKING LONG.

I wouldn’t be complaining if I actually left all my homeworks until the weekends. But this is how it’s been for the last few days (since school started)

I still have to research stuff on Sea cucumbers, a penis shaped marine animal.
Now I shall rename it the Sea Penis… it also ejaculates a cum-like liquid for self defense. Cool innit?

And behold, the most adorkablest creature of the seven seas, a Nudibranch!!!

OMYGOSH!

So now I’m going to procrastinate and go watch a DVD I bought; FLASH, THE TV SERIES:DDD
I’m like a¬†protagonist of a Greek tragedy… one day IB’s gonna come bite at my ass. But at the moment I don’t care, because I’m gonna go fill myself with awesomeness.

NERD FIGHTERS, Hah!

Advertisements

What it takes to be a Hero.

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Marvel with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 30, 2008 by Mao

Lets face it, being a superhero nowadays is a hard business.

Everyone seems to have a fucking problem with each other. Everyone seems to have possession of a nuclear weapons. Everyone has their own army of deadly ninjas.
They all want to fuck each other up.

You’re running around saving people’s lives, but they’ll take a mick outta ya costume.

People will write slash fanfictions of you and your drinking buddies.

People will compare you with your Marvel counterpart. Now now, no one likes sibling comparisons.

If you get a bad writer, your reputation’s gonna go doooown hill. *shifty eyes at Beechen*

and we all know that comic book sales hasn’t been it’s best in the past few decades. Namely blaming the increase in cost, and younger generations not being interested in them.

… oh, and if the Didio-man hates ya, YOU’RE OUT!

In desperation to save the comic book sales, we’ve got Power Girl’s boobs growing bigger in every issue of JSA.

From modest-boob-no-cleavage…

to each-boobs-bigger-than-her-head…

Also sexual innuendos…

to kick-ass gay superheroes,

And also reviving silver-age characters… (who should just stay dead),

As well as “dramatic and tragic” deaths of the most loved superheroes, in attempt to strike up controversy and to get a “buzz” going…

… sadly, no one really cares about Connor’s death anymore, except for that whiny WW-wannabe.

But I think the biggest attempt to boost superhero comic books sales is a Multiverse/DCU/Marvel-Universe/Big event… like the Final Crisis and Civil War.
I’m not sure how Civil War’s doing, but so far Final Crisis hasn’t been as good as people were anticipating it to be.

I actually think FC: Rogues’ Revenge is better…

And lets not forget to kill/de-power/rape the super heroines and superhero-wives. :)

I don’t know… but most things in comics are now from a cookie-cutter.
See, it’s hard to be a superhero. If you’re a genuine, nice, smart do-gooder, you’re most likely to fail. But if you’re rude, dark and brooding, you’ll get Hollywood directors willing to kiss your hiney to make a movie about ya.

w0rd.
I feel like dying right now.

Good night ~.~

A Cup of Superhero: Batman

Posted in All Blogs, Batman, Comics, DC Comic with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2008 by Mao

Hah, the first drink that came to my mind was…

Espresso

Or better yet…

Double Espresso

Can it get any manly-er?

Espresso usually comes in shots, or in a smaller cup than your average coffee. This is because it’s REALLY concentrated. People at Starbucks won’t tell you this, but a whole liter of Espresso will probably kill you.
It’ll deprive you of your sleep. And without sleep your body will slowly lose it’s function. THEN YOU’LL DIE! … or it’s gonna clog your artery or something.
Who knows.

Give a cup of Espresso to a zombie. It’ll motherfucking sprint at your ass, and kill you! And being undead, it can run at your ass for the whooole day.

So how is Batman related to a shot of Espresso?
For one, he probably drinks a whole load of it. By day he’s Bruce Wayne, by night he’s Batman. Go figure how he goes on without sleep.
… And you know that evil doesn’t sleep!

You could say cappuccino, macchiato, lattes and other caffeine drinks are bitches of Espressos’… because espresso is the base of those drinks. It’d be pimping! And you know Batman, he’d rather be the leader. If he isn’t the leader, he’ll make himself the leader. If Batman goes to a S&M club, he would probably be a sadist. And when he tells you to shut up, you better shut up. Or else he’s gonna ice you… or papa spank you?

As a female, I think Batman’s hot. Bruce Wayne’s hot too. Fucking hell, I like the mysterious thing going on with him, as well as his masculinity. And you know what people say about espressos… it’s the most manliest thing you can drink… and by “people” I mean me. Some might argue and say beer’s manly. No brotha! That’s where you’re wrong. When I think of beer, I think frat boys. Espresso? Mysterious manly sexiness.

So next time you want to impress a woman, order a double espresso, loud enough for her to hear. Next thing you know, she’ll be saying “Ooooh baby, serve me a smokin’ hot shot of your espresso!”
… I didn’t know you were a barista.

But it would probably help if you look like this

Have a killer bod like this

and have a pimp chair like this

I hope I turned straight men gay.

:)

Oh, and if you’re in a relationship with Batman, you have to be bitch. So when Batty-boy wants a sandwich; “BITCH! Go make me a sandwich”, you go make him a sandwich. :) Or else he’ll denounce you and get his way because he’s “goddamn Batman” (refer to the picture below).

Some of you may sum him up as a spoilt brat who got everything and anything whenever he wanted… But think about it, he didn’t have a mommy or a daddy growing up. He’s still traumatized and felt inferior about the whole tragedy, and I’m well sure he has superior complex. So when he’s being a bossy-boot, think of him as a retarded kid with a tantrum.

That fucking Batman!!! He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum… He’s just a retarted kid with a tantrum…

Click here to Apply/Join Flash’s Rogue Gallery

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, The Flash with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2008 by Mao

Hello there, Captain Cold here. Besides being famous for my dashing attire from Gucci’s Winter collection, I’m one of most well-known rogues from Flash’s rogue gallery.
… and the Scarlet Speedsters got a whole bunch of ’em rogues, so that shows how famous I am.

Just to point out, there are a few visual-aids to help me through this recruitment process. If you have a hard time reading them, you can click to make it bigger.

So why should you join Flash’s Rogue Gallery?

Well I’ll tell ya why!
This gang functions like a brotherhood. Bros before hoes. We stick by each other, even through the roughest time. We respect each other.

… Fucking hell, we sound like frat guys.

The key members of the Rogues, other then myself, are; Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Heat Wave and the new and annoying Trickster.

We have our differences, but together we’re Flash’s rogues… actually we just want to get rich and famous, but Flash gets in the way, so we result to fighting him.

We’re looking for someone who we can trust and know will stick around… certain level of ass kicking is required.

Once there was a time when we screwed up big time… when we killed Kid Flash. Everyone was like “fuck the rogues.” and ditched us. But we rogues, we stuck by each other. Fuck Libra. Fuck Secret Society. We just need each other to make things work again, and we did.

If you want to join us, you have to follow the rules. Yes, we’re “villains”, but we do have rules.

Rule #1
Never kill a Speedster.

You better be a quick learner, coz we don’t have hard-copies of the rules.

Other rules include “don’t leave the toilet seat up”, “don’t chew chewing gums in the clubhouse”, “Friday’s a pizza night”, “Thou shall respect each other”, and we’re all allocated when to water the plants.

Because we function like the brotherhood, we have dos and don’ts. We want everyone to be happy and healthy. So one of the most important rules include…

When I punch ya, it’s out of love.

After this event, we decided to make an addiction support facility, a rehab center, but only for the rogue members. We even have our own confession circle too!

Heat Wave: “I’m here because…- …”
Mirror Master: “C’mon Mick, you can say it.”
Heat Wave: “I’m here because…. because… I accidentally killed my family!”
Weather Wizard: “There there Mick,… it’s okay… we’re here for you”

If you think you can follow our simple rules, proceed to the next page.

***

Ok, glad you’re still here with us.
Now for the benefits of joining The Rogues.

We have matching jackets! If you qualify as one of us, you’ll recieve a welcome gift, via mail or hand.

You could say the Catcher in the Rye is the closest thing we have to a rule book.

We’ll also send you a fruit basket.

So what is the main function of this villainous group and how do we avoid Flash?
We, The Rogue Gallery (that’s our official name), just do our thing. Rob banks and jewellery stores, hack into a data warehouse, create havoc in Keystone City… just evil schemes to get rich quickly.
Oh, and we aren’t planning on taking over the World anytime soon. The doors right behind you.

To answer the second part of the question, we can’t avoid that nitwit Flash.
He’ll come zooming out of nowhere, and POW, he got your right at the jaw. But if we work as a team we have a chance of escaping and/or hurting him… thus the formation of the Rogues.

We offer medical insurance.

and After a long hard day, we like to party… hard!

As much as we like Mirror Master’s party, no party’s better than Flash’s. Citizens of Keystone knows how to throw an awesome one!

Gotta love that chum!

You gotta be thinking why and how the Rogue Gallery still exists since Barry Allen’s time.
That’s because we don’t get personal with the Flash. Sure, we hate his guts! But we hate the Flash, and not the man behind it.

We don’t go around killing their spouses you know?

Sometimes we’re reffered to as roaches. But without us Rogues, Flash won’t be as great and loved by the citizens. I think he knows this, and sometimes even goes easy on us.

Don’t get me wrong, he throws us into Iron Heights time to time.
We just get out from there.

… and that, ladies and gents, is how we stay in business.

and we’re also proud to quote…

“They may have goofy names and wear bright colours, but that doesn’t mean they’re idiots.”
– Flash

Hypocrite!

There you go. I hope you read this over, and consider applying to become a Rogue. Just send your curriculum vitae to the e-mail below, and if we want to meet you, we’ll give you a call.
Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

But if you have any inquiries, please do call.

E-mail: fearsome_rouges@hotmail.com

Telephone: (930) 273-2665

*****

ahaha, a cute Dick and Wally moment

Oh fuck me, I love it!

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, Marvel, Runaways with tags , , , on August 15, 2008 by Mao

Goly Gee Batman, Mao loves the Runaways!

I actually only finished the first run (#1-#18), but that picture’s cool. So whatever :]

So Yesterday TPBs/digest I ordered has arrived!
– Runaways vol. 1 – 3
– Teen Titans/Outsiders: Insiders
– The Flash: The Secret of Barry Allen.

It takes motherfucking TWO WEEKS, so I was overjoyed when I went to pick it up! I ordered Runaways because people guaranteed me of it’s awesomeness.

AND OMG, IT’S REALLY ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD!

man, I’m still really hyped from the ending, so my vocab range is really small.
But to some up this post, Runaways was…

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!

You just feel for the kids you know? Like you really think to yourself “wow, sucks to be them”. You just get so attached to the characters, so the ending made me go “….wtf! :'(“.

But I being a sixteen year, same age as most of them, found it weird that none of them cried. Sure, they were angry/panicked/all that jazz, but none of them were CRYING!Maybe I’m a wussy pancake, but I’d cry and be like “OMG, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO! I WANNA DIE, I WANNA DIE!!!” and I’ll be whiney… to the max.

and now I need to go order the rest of the digest. So it’ll be another 3 weeks until I can read the rest, oh fuck me living in Hong Kong.

Well that’s it from me! Something short and sweet once in a while :)

A Cup of Superhero: Impulse (Bart Allen)

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, The Flash with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 13, 2008 by Mao

ok. A Cup of Superhero is going to be like a series of filler posts, in which I compare a cup of drink to a superhero. My posts tends to be a bit long and messy, so I decided; one post, one cup, one hero.

Ooooh, sounds so Olympicy!

Hah, lol, k, so…

If superheroes were a drink, what would they be they be~?

Lets set the benchmark; Impulse (Bart) would be a tall glass of good ol’ Chocolate Milkshake!
With whip cream, and of course, a cherry on the top.

You get to your local diner, a very familiar place, and push open the door. You hear everyone greet you as you make your way to your stool. You simply smile and nod. You pull out your stool, and sit on it, not only for your ass to fit perfectly into the ass-groove you’ve made over the years. The waitress was already there to take your order, and you say “Ya know what ah’m gunna sey Jenneh, the usual!”.
She flirt-giggles and replies “Jus makin sho hun! Buhger, frahs and chocolate milkshake cumin’ up!”

See, everyone likes chocolate milkshake! Even Jack, the big truck driver.
Chocolate milkshake will always manage to bring a smile to your face. If it was a person, it would be one of those people who everyone likes hanging out with, because it’s fun! :) And that person would be Bartholomew “Bart” Allen, as Impulse!
But too much of chocolate milkshake can give you a toothache, in Impulse’s case, a headache. You know it’s uber fattening, but you just can’t resist it!

Chocolate is an essential food group in your life, and milkshake… god, it’s mother fucking milkshake! What I’m trying to say is, we need chocolate milkshake! As Young Justice needed Impulse to keep the series fun. <3

ahaha, cute kid.
His cuteness is the cherry on the top.

***

But as we get older, some people tends to prefer a less sugary Chocolate Milkshake, and instead prefers it a bit more creamy and darker. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a bloody good chocolate milkshake!
That’s when we say bye-bye to Impulse, and hellooo Kid Flash!

It’s the same chocolate milkshake. But instead of using chocolate which is 70% sugar and 30% chocolate, we’re now talking about 40% sugar and 60% chocolate.
It’s still sweet; Kid Flash is still full of awesome. But we have a less chance of getting obese and becoming diabetic; Kid Flash is more ‘settled’ (… hah), less impulsive and more knowledgeable compared to Impulse.

Bart manages to become this new and improved milkshake after he reads the whole San Fransisco library in 20 minutes, which felt like 18 months to him.

Shouldn’t the bookshelf get empty as he reads those books? Just felt like pointing out…

***

… This is when your favourite chocolate milkshake gets really bitter and gross, when Bart takes on the mantle of The Flash.

I really like Bart, but he’s just blergh as Flash! He ain’t bitter like the counter-part, but plain boring. Nothing much to say… he lost his charm.

I also think he got a bit dumber.
,,, and excuse me for my less than average scanning skillz.

… I guess the San Fransisco library didn’t have a book on that.

But what I liked about his run as the Flash was the last two issues. Tragic ending, but I really liked it. As much as I didn’t want Bart to die, I didn’t mind Flash dying…

!!! But we all know he’s gonna revive soon! :) *crosses finger*

Geeks: at the Speed of Light

Posted in All Blogs, Comics, DC Comic, Marvel, Nightwing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 9, 2008 by Mao

I swear,… some comic book geeks are FAST.
Maybe they have a personal Transporter. Maybe a special ability, like Deep Tunnel. Or just maybe some are meta-humans and are speedsters.

I DON’T BLOODY KNOW!

The last two (uno y dos) blog entries I made has me being uberly excited about the release of Nightwing #147.

God, I was SO excited.

In Hong Kong, new comics are released on a Thursday. But on Wednesday a typhoon came and all business were closed. So this week, new comics were released on a Friday.

On Friday night I went to my comic book store. Skipping with awesomeness as I was getting closer. When I get there I found out that Nightwing #147… WAS SOLD OUT!
I was like “oh… it’s okay, I’m chill. I’ll go checkout the other store”
The other place is just two storey down, so I fast walked there not only to find out that it was SOLD OUT as well.

I was/am majorly pissed off.

There are only two comic book stores in Hong Kong, and Nightwing #147 was SOLD OUT at both places. They said they’re gonna re-order, and will be here in 2 weeks.
I’m so tired of waiting.

See, I went to the store at 8pm. Both stores opens at around 3pm. So it 5 hours ALL copies of Nightwing #147 that existed in Hong Kong were sold out. Bloody hell, how is that possible!!!
Maybe I need a higher level of geekiness to have my own teleporter!

TEACH ME HOW TO GRIND FOR MORE EXP PL0X!

ugh…

./rant

But on the awesome side I found The Flash #228, which is a crossover with Nightwing! I have yet to read it x]
I also bought Marvel’s Kick-Ass #3, which I was planning to buy after reading it’s summary on Marvel’s site… And I thought the summary was exaggerated, but gosh, it’s totally AWESOME!

Kick-Ass is about a comic book fan (v. geeky) who decides to dress-up as a superhero to fight crime. But the cool part is that it’s set in this world, so no superheroes exists! And it’s fairly realistic; the main character gets beaten-up shitless and does good deeds to get laid.
Anyway, he gets super interweb famous after he posts a video of himself fighting muggers.

And he gets free boobies!

Kick-Ass #3 ends with him getting beaten up by people who he tries to “set things straight” with. And enter!, a nine year old girl who duel wields katanas! … and she pretty much saves his ass.

Mmm~, gotta love ultra violence!

Even though this was the first issue of Kick-Ass I have picked up, it was easy to catchup and an enjoyable read! VERY enjoyable. So pick up an issue, because you won’t regret it! :)

<3!

…ohohoh, and duuuude! The second store I went to, which isn’t my usual comic book store, gave me a free badge!
It has Lex Luthor on it, and says “VOTE LEX 2000”. I can pin it onto my school bag :3
Hah, I’m so going back there for more freebies!